Not a joke, more like a discussion request. Mods will decide.
Here's a petition to the dad jokes community:
If a joke is NSFW, no matter how lame the pun, it should not qualify as a dad joke.
At most, it is an uncle joke.
Dad jokes are always puns, sometimes laboured ones, but we should be able to tell them to our children irrespective of their age!
A trans woman(Sarah) and a cis woman(Liz) marry. They live a wonderful life and then they decided to have a kid. Liz gets pregnant and gives birth. But the moment she does, Sarah completely disappears.
Because she became trans-parent
Last night, while my wife was asleep I decided to write algebraic terms all over her.
You should have seen the expression on her face.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters 'PNEIS'. And form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors today while the rest are here posting jokes on reddit.
Pen-cil you help me? I can't decide which phrase to write in my new pencil
After a long concert, U2 decides that they will get ice cream to relax.
Adam Clayton gets a scoop of chocolate.
Bono gets five scoops of vanilla.
Larry Mullen Jr. gets three scoops of strawberry.
However, even after all of his bandmates got their scoops, The Edge is undecided. Finally, Bono, clearly frustrated, yells to him: "Just get a sundae! A bloody sundae!"
I decided to try my hand at blindfolded archery.
I didn't know what I was missing.
I couldn’t decide to go with the overly enthusiastic fortune teller or the sad and sullen soothsayer…
…so I just decided to go with a happy medium.
Peeping Tom decided to spend more time at home
He wanted a better lurk/wife balance.
I've decided to finally stop procrastinating.
Wife and I got divorced and decided to split the house.
A director decided to award a prize of $1000 for the best idea for saving the company money during the recession.
It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $100.
I've decided I want a pet termite. I'm going to call him Clint.
I was going to donate money to build a levee in my hometown, but I decided not to.
You might think I’m selfish, but I just don't give a dam.
I didn't want to get up from the computer but I really had to use the bathroom. Ultimately I decided to go
Batman's butler Alfred decides to go on vacation one day...
Thankfully, being a creature of the night, Batman found a last minute replacement with a butler named Lurch.
Great butler, but every time Batman summons him he keeps saying, "you batarang?"
Chrissy Teigen’s husband has decided to invest in a cow farm. All the stuff he makes will be…
My son decided against my advice to pursue a career in fine arts.
Now he has no Monet for Degas to make his Van Gogh.
I decided to try fishing for the first time and I loved it.
I wasn't very good, but it only took one cast and I was hooked!
Why did the student decide to eat their homework instead of turning it in?
Because it was a piece of cake.
I decided to honour my son with a military rank, but my wife did not agree with me.
Apparently Major disappointment is not a very good name, according to her.
Why Did The Farmer Decide To Install His Wi-Fi Router In His Barn?
Because Now it’s More Stable!
My wife couldn't decide what to order at the Indian joint and just ordered bread.
It was such a naan answer.
After arguing for hours with my family, I decided to keep my fuzzy leather shoes.
They tried to dissuade me.
I decided against making a joke about a Fibonacci sequence…
I didn’t want things to spiral out of control.
I decided to eat a clock
It took 2 hands and 12 hours to prepare, 60 minutes in the oven to bake. It was so good I stuffed my face and went back for seconds!
Couldn’t decide where to tie up my yacht…
I've decided, that from January 1st, I'll only be watching videos in 1080p or higher
It's my New Year's Resolution
Why did the duck decide not to have plastic surgery?
He thought the bill would be too large.
Why did the rooster decide not to cross the road?
I decided to take my vacuum cleaner to a charity shop.
Well, it was only gathering dust.
This morning I decided to use Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee.
I was halfway to work when I realized I forgot my car.
My company decided to save money by using cheap printer paper. What makes it so bad?
Which Knight of the Round Table helped Arthur Decide Where to Build Camelot?
We decided we'd clean our place ourselves, and fired the housekeeper.
We told her she was maid redundant.
Why did the broom decide to go to bed early?
When it was time to choose a college major, I wasn't sure whether to decide psychology or literature, so I spoke with my advisor.
They said I should flip a coin, heads or tales.
a snail buys a new, fast car. it decides it wants it decorated, so it brings the car to the car painter.
the snail says, "i want a big s on the front of the car, back of the car, and sides. i want the entire car to be covered in the letter s."
the car painter asks, "why?"
and the snail replies, "when i pass people on the road, i want them to point at me and say, 'wow! look at the escargot!'"
A locksmith decided to quit his job and became a successful speaker in the industry
In his speech he talked about his big key takeaway, but everyone nowadays just wants delivery.
So Spider-Man and Silver Surfer decided to hang out together
Yeah, I think they surfed the web together
A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes.
He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”
2 earthquakes decided to end their marriage
It was a no-fault divorce
I decided to get a termite as a pet. I named him Clint.
I'm planning on going on a summer vacation and I can't decide what to do
I was thinking either waterboarding or motorboating. What do you guys think?
I've decided to open a doggy daycare.
I'm going to call it "Under One Woof."
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
