They are definitely KINDER
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NathyDre
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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Definitely
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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What's the definition of Baroque?

When you run out of Monet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PrettyPeeved
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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Definitely not stolen

What Do You Call A Wreath Made Of $100 Bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NidalFlame
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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What is the definition of abstract?

It's hard to explain

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2noob4u_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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High Definition Yoda be like
πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/loot98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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What is the definition of a will?

Come on guys it’s a dead giveaway

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ghastbuster95
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2020
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George Foreman definitely won't be getting a PS5

He's an Ex-Boxer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/themaxmethod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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Now is definitely not the right time to start surrounding yourself with positive people.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_simplepotato_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
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People are always telling me that β€œmean” and β€œrude” have the same definitions. So I ask them,

β€œWhat do you rude?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MisterBicorniclopse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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The definition of a pick up game.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/doodynyahand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
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Definitely fits here /r/Showerthoughts/comment…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mogulzns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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What's the definition of a sex change?

Snip snip and Bob's your auntie.

An actual joke my dad told me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TwinTowers05
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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Not mine but I definitely think it belongs here. /r/Jokes/comments/ixvogb/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timmorris82
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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Thanks for telling me the definition of plethora

It means a lot

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SomolianButtPirate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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Some said my last post wasn't a pun. Well, this one definitely is.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 372
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MarketingCoding
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2020
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Pun request?

Not sure if this is allowed here. But I thought I’d give it a try.

I’m buying a stand mixer for my SO’s birthday. I was looking to add a note to the gift that’s punny. β€œI hope the treats you make with this are as sweet as you”. That ones terrible. I think?

But I would definitely love some help. Thank you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OMWasap
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
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Definitely a meltdown
πŸ‘οΈŽ 249
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
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This is definitely something my dad would say
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KhaoticKorndog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2019
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She definitely is
πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/M-L125K0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2020
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Scientists definitively confirmed today that anteaters are incapable of contracting coronavirus.

This is because they're filled with anty bodies.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/four12pls8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2020
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It’s definitely a brownie not something else. v.redd.it/cltwr9yyenz41
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mctightbuns
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
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He definitely overworked his stick!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2020
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What's the definition of frustration?

A one armed man, dangling from a cliff, with Itchy balls!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/criswhitmore
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2020
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I can't stop looking up word definitions

I need some help with my addictionary

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uniformbreak320
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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You'll definitely need an expert for that
πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ELZEKO_gamer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2020
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It's definitely an anomaly as far as leadership successions in modern states go

Yet, here we are. North Korea's Kim Jong is ill once more.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honesty-lowkeye
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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What's the definition of a Wookiee?

Someone who doesn't have any expewience

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2020
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Dida definitely scored
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/janidwastaken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
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My parents told me the definition of barter the other day.

I told them that it means a great deal!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Turtleking1011
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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Some reorganization is definitely in order for me.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vuyfogifux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
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Rosa definitely barks!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2020
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I suspect my friend stole one of my gloves.

He definitely had a hand in it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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What's the definition of publish?

To scrawl on a bar wall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/reddiflecting
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
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We definitely should've done more to prepare for the pandemic.

I guess that's hindsight in 2020

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StoopSign
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
This definitively belongs here
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BattleSymphony
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m definitely the biggest anti-marijuana activist I know.

I always smoke my competition.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FadedFigure
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2020
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I looked up the word 'opaque' in the dictionary...

....but the definition is unclear.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Definitely not mine, but punny none the less.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 610
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fear_Kitten
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2019
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Do you know the definition of politics?

Poli is a Greek word meaning many, and tics are small, bloodsucking insects.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PM_me_your_problems1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2020
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What's the definition of a will?

Come on guys, it's a dead giveaway.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 104
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bricksheffield
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stop looking up word definitions

I need some help with my addictionary

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uniformbreak320
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the definition of a Will?

Come on guys! It's a Dead Giveaway!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StewPaddasso
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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Its a good thing sexual innuendos isn't a crime...

I'd definitely be going down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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