Awesome deal
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GQveracity
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife always make a big deal out of her periods .

I'd say she is ovary-acting .

πŸ‘︎ 353
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supreme__shrek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm not sure what the big deal is with the national bird of the U.S

I've never seen its balls, but people keep saying it's a Balled Eagle

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A bald man got a great deal on a wig today - only $1!

It was a small price toupee.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A traveling salesman offered me a deal on a coffin.

I told him that's the last thing I need.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeauxJoeStuff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The deal has been sealed.
πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unrealhumour
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The invention of the wheel was no big deal.

It was the invention of the axel that really got things rolling.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/withouta3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you deal with someone who is too shellfish?

Sue them in small clams court.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Magical Creatures Rights Activist: Sir, are you aware of how wizards and witches deal with Boggarts?

It’s riddikulus!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vote4Hitler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
There are some phenomenal deals out there right now

I just got an 84-inch screen TV for my family. Not gonna lie, it was a pretty good trade.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mirhamarha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
One administrator of Cloud City struck a New Deal with the Empire: Franklin DeLando Roosevelt
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMus3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niknaktom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Entangled business deal

If a spider catches more moths than they need, can they sell them on the web?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I wish my family wouldn't make such a big deal over not picking up dropped ice cubes.

It's just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowdoggo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make sure your drug deals remain perfectly neutral?

You drop acid and touch base!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PiRRoundNotSquare
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I made a documentary film about people who look for deals at thrift stores.

It's called Goodwill Hunting.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What tool would deal best with a traumatic event?

A coping saw!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thingie2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Confusing Venus with Aphrodite is no big deal.

It’s just a mythunderstanding.

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatoneevilpigeon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm glad my friend enlightened me on this deal
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bflowwolf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.

So we did it squid pro quo

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife β€œWhat’s it like having to deal with periods?”

She said β€œI just go with the flow”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is a broken pickaxe not a big deal?

Its just a miner problem.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Americrazy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I can get you a great deal on cremation services....

But you have to urn it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravanik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw a deal earlier to stay on a canal boat but I was worried about covid situation

There's bound to be a lock down there

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ian_M87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Man was selling a really nice JBL speaker for just $1! Said the volume was stuck at max volume permanently. But what a deal!

How could I turn that down!?

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Seal the deal.
πŸ‘︎ 603
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFriman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
You would think more people would see this deal.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cgrulke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what's the big deal?

Just a big pickle!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My grocery store had a great deal on baked sweets today

It’s really been a great cake day

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wakes09
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought 20 guillotines because there was a great deal

I don’t know why I thought it’d be a good idea. I lost my head when buying them

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCultofLoss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife thinks I compulsively buy tools. I tell her it's really not a big deal....

It's my vice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the deal with people who get fired from the U.S. Mint?

None of them make cents anymore!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickissupershort
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a doctor who also deals with cars ?

Cardealogist

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vertex_welder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the deal with those people who take care of chickens?

Bunch of chicken tenders

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a great deal online for a 'Replica Rolex' for only $50. I just opened the box and found it is completely made of wood...

To make matters worse, it is covered with a dark circular imperfection in the wood grain. I won't accept this - knot on my watch.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter said she didnt wanna deal with lice

But i told her we had to take this problem head on

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HESMILEZ463
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
When early man discovered that they could use sharp stones for hunting, it was a big deal.

It was cutting edge technology

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.

They taught me periscoping techniques.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HouseofKannan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores in 2020 was a big deal

People were lined up for blocks.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If you want the best Sandwich Deal there is…

Go to Kent. You'll find both of those there.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, that seals the deal
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said the best way to deal with bugs in the kitchen is to just leave them alone.

Personally I think that is just ignore ants.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezemity
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the deal with a door and a bell?

On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A traveling salesman offered me a deal on a coffin

I told him that's the last thing I need

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheViralClovers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report

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