Do you know why South Dakota has the best track teams?

They Rushmore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d8spereaux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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They recently banned cylindrical hay bales in North Dakota

The legislature was worried that that the cows weren't getting a square meal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrokenheroReddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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There aren't a lot of murders in North Dakota

They're few and Fargo between.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aurelianshitlist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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On my last vacation to the Dakota's, I spent WAY too much at a Native American store known for their elaborate cabinetry facades..

I just had to have a Sioux veneer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scotty_gzus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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In North Dakota there was once a farmer

...who lived on theft. Every year he would raid his neighbour's wheat bins, sell what he took and then go south to spend the winter living on his ill-gotten grains.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatering
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2013
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BREAKING NEWS: Mannequin torso escapes from North Dakota mall.

Authorities warn that it may be armed and dangerous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghosttwo
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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What did Dakota say to Washington?

I don't know....Al-aska!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahsugarplum
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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"Why is North Dakota so windy?"

"Why is North Dakota so windy?"

Because South Dakota Sucks, and Canada Blows.

(Favorite joke of my grandfathers)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dbooker87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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Do you know the top 15 states to live in?

Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ttynny20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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One nation, indivisible.... imgreg.me/media/one-natio…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denlionn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
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My college-aged son tried to get a reaction out of me. He got a dadjoke instead.

http://i.imgur.com/ZoC1DLL.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crash_86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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You know a pun is fully mature when...

You know a pun is fully mature when it is fully groan.

Stolen from the book I am currently reading, Dungeon Eternium: Divine Dungeon Series By Dakota Krout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooly772
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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True story

A friend set me up with this girl and we start texting to make plans to go out. She says "I'm busy packing right now, I'm visiting my family in Alaska next week."

Of course, I replied "That sounds fun! When you get back Alaska bout it!"

And I never heard from her again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jabonko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2015
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My mom sent this to me. I think it belongs here imgur.com/YQoYbFD
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1thanman123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2013
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Why did the female lead for Fifty Shades take the role?

Because she didn't meet Dakota for the month yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quasar226
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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My dad proved his worth the other night

We were watching the Monday Night football game between the Eagles and the Bears, and we were discussing Carson Wentz, the Eagles new quarterback. Me: "Where did he play in college again?" Dad: "From Wentz he came? North Dakota State"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenoranges
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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"North or South?"

So I have a buddy from school named Dakota. A few days ago he stopped by for the first time, and my dad does this.

Dad: "Hey, Dakota?"

Dakota: "Yeah?"

Dad: "North or South?"

Dakota: "...what?"

Dad: "Which were you named after?"

Dakota "..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonox01
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2013
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Geology Museum

So my dad and are touring a college in Rapid City, South Dakota, and we drove past a Geology Museum. He casually pointed it out as we had not noticed it before. I waited a few seconds, fully expecting a Geology rocks joke, but he was silent. I asked him why he didn't make a joke, as he is notorious for awesome dad jokes, and he looked at me and said, "I was going to but I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place." I just looked at him and gave him a fist bump. This is going to be a great trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/futuretrojan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2013
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My folks are on a road trip.

Driving through Gackle, North Dakota, my dad lays this one on my mom: "What kind of a town name is 'Gackle?' I suppose their football team is called the Jackals. If you played on the team, you might be the Gackle Jackal tackle."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evil_Iowan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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My Dad's, Dad joke.

(We are from Montana.)

Montana and North Dakota are in the middle of a war. The NDs have amassed a huge army and are about to march over a hill to invade MT. The commander of the ND army decides to send out a couple of scouts to see if the way is clear. Almost immediately after the two scouts disappear over the top of the hill, loud crashing and rumbling sounds come from the direction they went. After waiting until they are overdue for return, the commander decides to send a squad over to check out what happened. As they pass out of sight, a loud raucous was again heard from the other side of the hill. The commander becomes concerned and decides not to wait for them to return. He sends an entire platoon over the hill, telling them to take out any resistance they meet and return with any survivors. Once again, as the men disappear over the hill, the terrible sounds of war rush over the entire army and then slowly die down until nothing could be heard but the beating of the commanders heart. A proud man, never before defeated in battle, he decides to lead the entire army over the hill himself to destroy the opposition once and for all, but as they begin to march they see a single, mangled, ND soldier pulling himself up over the top of the hill by the only functioning limb of his body. Beaten, bloody and near death, he manages, with help, to make it to the commander and says; "Sir... (cough) Don't go... (spit, cough) It's a trap..."

And in the surprise induced silence he says;

"There's TWO of 'em."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/error-div_by_zero
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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You know why South Dakota has the best track teams?

They Rushmore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d8spereaux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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