North Dakota Puns

The legislature was worried that that the cows weren't getting a square meal

They're few and Fargo between.

Authorities warn that it may be armed and dangerous.

...who lived on theft. Every year he would raid his neighbour's wheat bins, sell what he took and then go south to spend the winter living on his ill-gotten grains.

"Why is North Dakota so windy?"

Because South Dakota Sucks, and Canada Blows.

(Favorite joke of my grandfathers)

Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine

http://i.imgur.com/ZoC1DLL.png

We were watching the Monday Night football game between the Eagles and the Bears, and we were discussing Carson Wentz, the Eagles new quarterback. Me: "Where did he play in college again?" Dad: "From Wentz he came? North Dakota State"

So I have a buddy from school named Dakota. A few days ago he stopped by for the first time, and my dad does this.

Dad: "Hey, Dakota?"

Dakota: "Yeah?"

Dad: "North or South?"

Dakota: "...what?"

Dad: "Which were you named after?"

Dakota "..."

Driving through Gackle, North Dakota, my dad lays this one on my mom: "What kind of a town name is 'Gackle?' I suppose their football team is called the Jackals. If you played on the team, you might be the Gackle Jackal tackle."

(We are from Montana.)

Montana and North Dakota are in the middle of a war. The NDs have amassed a huge army and are about to march over a hill to invade MT. The commander of the ND army decides to send out a couple of scouts to see if the way is clear. Almost immediately after the two scouts disappear over the top of the hill, loud crashing and rumbling sounds come from the direction they went. After waiting until they are overdue for return, the commander decides to send a squad over to check out what happened. As they pass out of sight, a loud raucous was again heard from the other side of the hill. The commander becomes concerned and decides not to wait for them to return. He sends an entire platoon over the hill, telling them to take out any resistance they meet and return with any survivors. Once again, as the men disappear over the hill, the terrible sounds of war rush over the entire army and then slowly die down until nothing could be heard but the beating of the commanders heart. A proud man, never before defeated in battle, he decides to lead the entire army over the hill himself to destroy the opposition once and for all, but as they begin to march they see a single, mangled, ND soldier pulling himself up over the top of the hill by the only functioning limb of his body. Beaten, bloody and near death, he manages, with help, to make it to the commander and says; "Sir... (cough) Don't go... (spit, cough) It's a trap..."

And in the surprise induced silence he says;

"There's TWO of 'em."