I was in a contest where you lost if you talked.
It was quite the competion, to say the least.
I sent 10 puns to a pun contest, hoping one would win
A woman entered an online pun contest. She submitted ten different puns in the hope that at least one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
I once finished runner-up in a Fidel Castro look-a-like contest.
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....
The competitive painting contest was an abject failure
What did John Mcenroe say when he was disqualified from the chese eating contest
A son tells his Dad he wants to win the limbo contest at his school...
His dad says, "That's a pretty low bar."
The Biggest Loser’s contestant talking about his opponent:
“I’m not worried about her, she is a lightweight.”
I'm going on a quiz show! There are lots of other contestants, but they're all grizzlies and polars. It's called...
Who wants to beat a million bears.
Have you ever wondered why the winner of all the Miss Universe contest...
...always came from Earth ?
I entered my Chihuahua in an 'ugliest dog' contest and I won first place!
I entered a pooping contest once
I struggled hard in the bodybuilding contest.
Turns out, I've got atrophy
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
My cat got 10/10 points at a beauty contest
I've just entered the neighborhoods tightest hat contest..
I was all ready to host a limbo contest, but then I found out that someone stole my special limbo bar.
I mean, how low can you go?
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre
One of the local radio stations had a "Worst Pun" contest.
The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.
But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
My friend from Paris took part in a national barista contest
And he won! I read it in the French press
Just watched an episode of MasterChef. The contestants had to successfully infuse a lump of meat with THC or get eliminated
I guess you could say the steaks were high
Winning a German sausage eating contest is all about your mind set
You hope for the best, but prepare for the wurst
“Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. I want to contest half of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus.
Did you hear about all the competition in the outdoor pickled cabbage contest?
A male dog and a female dog are having a pissing contest, which one will win?
Obviously the male dog because he has the-leg-up.
If he won't talk I guess it's just a stairing contest
I entered a pun contest once
You had to send in your best puns, via snail mail, in an orderly list. I sent ten in, thinking at least one would win me a prize, but no pun in ten did.
Two artists had an art contest. How did it end?
I came second in a dumpling eating contest...
...you dim sum, you lose some.
I was winning in a staring contest once...
and it was all taken away in the blink of an eye.
How did the neckwear contest end?
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?
When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.
Best Golf Pun contest has started
Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........
Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
I entered ten puns into a contest.
I hoped one would win, but no pun in ten did.
I entered 10 puns in a contest hoping one would win.
A man entered a pun contest and said ten pins, hoping one would win...
Unfortunately no pun intended
“Judge, I want to contest 60% of my parking tickets!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Fine. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets!
I won a contest for draining the most water out of a towel...
I'm now known as the Lord of the Wrings.
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