The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession

He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing

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👤︎ u/YayGettel
📅︎ Mar 31 2021
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Our son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as an inspiration when naming our kids.

His sister Chewbacca is less thrilled.

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👤︎ u/fibalcurva
📅︎ Feb 14 2021
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I always had low charisma when I chose elf in D&D.

Maybe that's why I have such low elf-esteem.

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📅︎ Feb 19 2021
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of COURSE hp lovecraft chose a fishing village for a setting (innsmouth)

...the deep ones are also called the many-anglered ones, after all ;)

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📅︎ Mar 01 2021
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Asked my GF why she chose this salad over the drum and bass salad, she wants to disown me.
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👤︎ u/ribbers
📅︎ Jul 06 2020
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A lumberjack walking into a magic forest and chose a tree to chop down.

when he started swinging, the tree shouted, 'wait, wait! i'm a talking tree!' the lumberjack smiled and told him, 'and you will dialogue.'

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📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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I put the memory device with the class assignment into the computer. Unfortunately, I chose the wrong one and porn started showing.

Oooops. Wrong USB.

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📅︎ Aug 07 2020
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I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...

... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.

(True story, btw.)

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👤︎ u/patentpunk
📅︎ Oct 25 2019
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Guy chose a crossbow instead of a bow.

It was a bolt decision.

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👤︎ u/KevinK15
📅︎ Dec 12 2019
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I chose this vet for my dog specifically because of the puns
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👤︎ u/Osixotin1
📅︎ Dec 27 2018
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He picked and chose her
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📅︎ Nov 10 2018
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The knight had many standing positions for masturbating to chose from

Depending on the circumstances

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📅︎ Mar 08 2019
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Just chose my new name!

I just picked out my new name in case I ever have to enter the witness protection program.

It's Walter Ego. :D

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👤︎ u/raven21633
📅︎ Aug 03 2018
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I'm an ice magician but do you know why i chose ice?

Because it's cooler than the others

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👤︎ u/Jadmonti
📅︎ Jun 13 2019
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My 18-year old said for his high school English essay he chose the subject of puns but was clueless where to start...

I said, "you're a groan man! Don't be sheepish--ewe can handle it."

He walked away with a spring in his step.

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📅︎ May 23 2019
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Trump chose a Supreme Court nominee from Bethesda...

Do you think there will be any Fallout?

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👤︎ u/Gonzurra
📅︎ Jul 10 2018
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I chose to be a firefighter

Because I had a burning passion for it

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👤︎ u/ShouryDuck
📅︎ Mar 24 2018
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My dad, after letting us all know he chose cremation when making end-of-life preparations

"I just want to go out with a smokin' hot body."

Good one, dad.

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👤︎ u/drewdog173
📅︎ Aug 03 2014
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My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one

I complimented her on picking an unteak.

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👤︎ u/Gunnrhildr
📅︎ Mar 06 2016
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