I texted "Oh Pun the Door"
I think she's in-to-resting.
7 was a well known 6 offender
Coz he was selling quack
Because they had a fight and 71.
Coz he had gnocchi
Coz a pawn would just go to the end of Britain and respawn as the Queen!
Kid: Y
Me: Coz I want to know.
Coz he was in a good mew-ood
because I just drive everywhere
He tried to hypotenuse everyone.
Coz it's always spotted
Why was the windows HQ filled with doctors? Coz they didn't have apple to keep the doctors away
They are only good with small arms.
Wat goes a round, comes a round
Coz he's turning 12 tomorrow!
she was having a real identitty crisis
Coz they're extinct.
coz switches be trippin,
Coz i dont wanna be the only person left alive here.
"They tasted funny."
Coz they multiply by dividing.
I was being annoying to receptionist of McDonald's , coz my food choices were not certain, she got angry and handed me McNuggets, and said “Nugget the hell out of here”
Coz, the next door neighbor put a fence around his house
Coz it always went past my head
So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!
Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?
To book a rest!
Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:
I want to wreck ya vic!
Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?
Coz He'll sinky
What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?
Their Brunei
Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.
Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.
I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"
The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin
Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!
The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important
The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.
A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.
What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car
Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you
They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo
People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me
Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera
Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there
I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm
If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?
Coz they had a Rocky relationship
Burger, coz it's a fast food
Coz he’s dead (Ha. Bet you thought I was going to say coz the p is silent)
Took my iMac in because the hard disc failed. The machine is 6 yrs old so I was made to feel embarrassed coz it was 'vintage and obsolete, Apple don't carry parts and can't help'. I was becoming a bit pissed off at the attitude I was getting then more pissed off when Mr Genius started to tell me to buy some suction pads that glaziers use to carry sheets of glass around, pull out the screen, undo 18 screws etc etc to change the disc myself. That's when I hit him with...
"Glaziers' suction pads? I thought they were only compatible with windows"
He didn't even flinch. Just completely ignored it and carried on sneering at me for having the audacity to be using an old machine. I left feeling like a piece of shit with only pride in my joke keeping me going.
