36 Hilarious Wat Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

My friend Wat never gains weight on vacation

Wat goes a round, comes a round

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👤︎ u/jpereira73

📅︎ Feb 14 2020

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What rock group has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

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👤︎ u/rtedith

📅︎ Nov 06 2020

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A perfectionist walked into a bar.

Apparently, it wasn't set high enough.

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👤︎ u/R4yvex

📅︎ Aug 12 2020

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If painters paint, and teachers teach...

do janitors janit?

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/VeryLastBison

📅︎ Jun 11 2020

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My wife said she has an appointment

I asked if she was going to the dentist orthodontist

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👤︎ u/InfinitelyAbysmal

📅︎ Jul 29 2020

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My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo

So I had to put my foot down

👍︎ 182

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👤︎ u/wigglywumpus

📅︎ Jul 21 2019

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did I tell y'all about my sweet new car?

its azucar

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👤︎ u/glittertongue

📅︎ Dec 10 2019

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It was a it concerning that the zoo had such a low fence for the Bobcat exhibit. We knew we were safe when we realized it was distracted by the Deere next door.

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👤︎ u/bettaa

📅︎ Oct 26 2019

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What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?

A father in law...

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Sep 10 2017

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Geez

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👤︎ u/MisterMaster____

📅︎ Oct 17 2019

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I bought a dog today and my mum asked me “Was it the best dog there? Was it A1?”

I replied “No. it was a K 9”

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👤︎ u/AJ-Naka-Zayn-Owens

📅︎ Dec 08 2019

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Happy Friday

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👤︎ u/BTWGaming

📅︎ Sep 14 2018

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Why do skeletons never move?

Because they have too much Skelatonin

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👤︎ u/GibbyB123

📅︎ Aug 17 2019

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Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."

"Some parts are missing."

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Sep 20 2019

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Why do programmers wear glasses?

Because they can't C#

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/sneakysneaky23

📅︎ Dec 31 2016

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How do u spell that again

You cant spell advertisements without the semen between the tits

A lot of folks seem to need help with this so ------- adver ti semen ts

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👤︎ u/NameViolation666

📅︎ Mar 13 2019

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Wait for it....

👍︎ 180

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👤︎ u/DawnOfArkham

📅︎ Sep 03 2017

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Her first disappointment

Yesterday my almost 3 year old daughter was took my ears and said: "Daddy, I took your ears. You don't have your ears anymore" Me: "what?" She: "Daddy, I took your ears. You don't have your ears anymore" Me: "What?" She: "You don't have your ears anymore" Me: "But what? I cannot hear you, because I don't have my ears anymore"

She looked, understood wat I was saying and then turned to me at me with a face of huge disappointment...

I still think it was funny though

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👤︎ u/The_Woodrunner

📅︎ Apr 27 2019

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I was in Bangkok with my wife recently. I suggested we check out one of the many temples.

She said “wat pho?”

And I said “idk just to get a little culture?”

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👤︎ u/itsnotnotme

📅︎ Jul 18 2019

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Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?

I Q U

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👤︎ u/OverKast78

📅︎ Jul 16 2019

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Bet you didn't sea this one coming

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/TheShinyLizard

📅︎ Apr 05 2019

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This sub in a nutshell

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👤︎ u/obliveater95

📅︎ Sep 12 2018

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Why are all of the other numbers disgusted with 288?

It's too gross.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/Joesdad65

📅︎ Dec 28 2018

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What do Japanese and Europeans call the first book of the Bible?

The Mega Drive.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/The_Mariposa5487

📅︎ Dec 16 2018

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Ordered a male order bride today

My new husband agrees I need to learn to spell

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👤︎ u/ooglyEyes

📅︎ Mar 11 2018

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Son: My grades are at the beach.

Dad: Wat?

Son: They are at C Level

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👤︎ u/HOM3D3PO

📅︎ Jan 11 2019

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My professor just dedicated an entire 2-hour class to make ONE dadjoke.

Today was the first day of his class, Special Topics in Poetry. We walk in and there is a guest with some ceramic art. We thought we were gonna write poems about it or some shit, but then the professor says, "Welcome to special topics in pottery."

The whole class is like wat...?

Then the guest lady starts showing a powerpoint of some of her work and then we literally spent the whole class mushing clay and making bowls and shit.

To make things even dadder, he chuckled "poetry pottery heh heh heh" like we didn't get the joke and he had to explain it to us.

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👤︎ u/ITasteLikePurple

📅︎ Mar 03 2016

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The don’t wear a watch

Because I am timeless.

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👤︎ u/lucidus_somniorum

📅︎ Feb 22 2019

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At dinner tonight

The waitress, going to refill my water glass asks, “May I see your glass?”

Me: (holds up glass) “Can you see it now?”

Wife: *sigh

Waitress: ...

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👤︎ u/Kekesupreme

📅︎ Feb 11 2018

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What do you call someone who sells themselves for a plate of spaghetti?

A pasta-tute.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/bearinthegarden14

📅︎ Sep 20 2018

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Life is like sine curve , ups and down

Ohh! Sorry I mean "sin" curve

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👤︎ u/himanshu207

📅︎ Jan 24 2017

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Where I come from $50,000 won't buy you a lot

They're all listed at $70,000 or more

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👤︎ u/brendan_07

📅︎ Feb 27 2014

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When you're thirsty but no drinks are around...

Wat-er you gonna do?

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👤︎ u/razzlesnazzlepasz

📅︎ Dec 15 2016

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Asked my dad for a tissue.

Dad: "You're built upside down."

Me: "Uhh, wat?"

Dad: "Your nose runs and your feet smell!"

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👤︎ u/NotTooBadYourself

📅︎ Oct 21 2013

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cutting bell peppers

wife: I need you to cut out the seeds from these bell peppers

me: why do you want them to be trees?

wife: wat?

me: that would make them de-seed-uous

wife: >:^(

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👤︎ u/xkcdFan1011011101111

📅︎ May 25 2016

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My personal confession (x-post /r/AdviceAnimals

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👤︎ u/goodthingihavepants

📅︎ Mar 20 2013

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