The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...

Solid, liquid and gas

👍︎ 401
💬︎
👤︎ u/Brundonius
📅︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
I accidentally used the wrong straw in my wife’s water bottle and broke it. She asked me to show her. I said...

This is the straw that broke the Camelback

👍︎ 34
💬︎
👤︎ u/BassMan2511
📅︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
This morning instead of getting the Vodka bottle I accidentally got the water bottle

I started freaking out thinking that I lost my taste

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/psikomanjak
📅︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states

Solid, liquid and gas

👍︎ 38
💬︎
👤︎ u/emu404
📅︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.

I Schwepped her off her feet.

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
👤︎ u/uglyric
📅︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
*holds water bottle* You see this? *drops water bottle*

Waterfall

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/vissthebeast
📅︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy drink a bottle of brandy, then fill it to the top with water and screw the lid back on.

He approached a wild ox. The ox looked at him.

The guy said, "Hello, there, wild ox. Would you like to buy this bottle of brandy from me? £50, that is all."

The wild ox mulled it over, before pulling out the money and handing it over to the man.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have jumped up and yelled, "It's a con, yak!"

👍︎ 31
💬︎
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator

It's not cool man

👍︎ 21
💬︎
👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a water bottle's favorite game to play?

Follow the litre.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Dad say to the bottle of water?

Hydrogen oxide, I'm Dad

👍︎ 18
💬︎
👤︎ u/banks987
📅︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
To the water in my spray bottle:

You will be mist.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Water bottle company spells H2O
👍︎ 26
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet.

👍︎ 19
💬︎
👤︎ u/dulcetsavanna
📅︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Water bottle wisdom imgur.com/7qMxKbA
👍︎ 254
💬︎
👤︎ u/summerrane
📅︎ Jun 30 2017
🚨︎ report
How many bottles of water do you drink everyday?

Because you are considered an aquaholic

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/SlipperyRoads
📅︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was wanting to throw a shirt into the dryer to get the wrinkles out but she wanted to spray it with water first. She couldn’t find a spray bottle close by so she instead grabbed the iron to spray it... talk about the ultimate irony.
👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/Vonberns
📅︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you poke at a bottle of water?

Tap water

r/jokes thought that this joke belongs here

👍︎ 71
💬︎
👤︎ u/agg304
📅︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I drank 2 bottles of water at dinner last night.

My dad told me to get help because I was an aquaholic.

👍︎ 24
💬︎
👤︎ u/WhitePeopleGifs
📅︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
"Dad, how many bottles of water are in the ocean?" my son asked.

"That depends how clumsy sailors are," I replied.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
This bottle of water was sold by an English company but it is ...
👍︎ 107
💬︎
👤︎ u/ask-a-physicist
📅︎ Apr 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the Clydesdale give a bottle of water to the pony?

Because it was a little horse!

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/SamFN
📅︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm furious that all these replacement parts I bought for my water bottle only damaged it more.

This was the last straw that broke the CamelBak.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/I_will_regreddit
📅︎ Nov 05 2017
🚨︎ report
"I have a bottle of eyes water. "Ice water?" "No."

http://imgur.com/4gufghR

👍︎ 12
💬︎
👤︎ u/rigamarolexq
📅︎ Aug 03 2016
🚨︎ report
A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet

👍︎ 23
💬︎
👤︎ u/maxbergmusic
📅︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet

👍︎ 30
💬︎
👤︎ u/rotimi_babalola
📅︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave my date a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet

👍︎ 44
💬︎
👤︎ u/Clbull
📅︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.