So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
Chest nuts roasting in open fire
Beethoven's Last Movement
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
But I just nailed it
I've finally got some definition in my arms.
Attempted murder.
He said he’d never heard of such a de-vice.
I'm having a hard time getting this off my chest.
The third one couldn’t, her arms were too short.
The other couldn’t reach.
I just had to get some things off my chest.
And thought to myself, "that's too weighty for me"
He really raised the bar
She brexit.
So I look intently and say, “Is that fire-ants crawling around on that bench?” It definitely helped them both get up. 😉
I asked my coach if he could weigh in on the issue.
My son said, "look dad, they're all lovey-dovey!"
Never been more proud!
That's why it's called the bar exam.
It was really uplifting.
He was a-resting!
First: Blimey, It's windy
Second: No, It's Thursday
Third: So am I, let's get a cup of tea
"Yeah I don't wanna use that cat-lick butter...
That's worse than that Anglican butter."
While out walking with the family we saw a bench with a dedication plaque. It read "In Memory of Helen, she walked these meadows with joy". Of course I had no choice but to remark "Why didn't Joy get a bench too?"
Cue involuntary snort of laughter from the wife. Mission accomplished.
It was an act of mallets.
Very motivated. Got up early and worked all day at it.
Carpentry diem.
Me: sounds like someone was just too sweet
Beethoven’s last movement
