Locker Puns

So shoe me!

Today at school in the locker room, a bunch of freshmen were fighting over who had released a 'noxious gas' earlier. My friend turns to me and says "Wow, they're pretty into finding out who dealt it." To which I replied "I agree. They must have a private intestigator." I'm pretty proud of myself for that one. I think it might be my best pun to date.

I had a new lock in high school and I said, "The new combination is 17-11-48."

My mom said, "Well, that should be easy to remember. You're 17 now, you were once 11, and you will be 48."

The Meat Locker

Walked into the gym locker room yesterday and some guy was half-jokingly ranting about smelly dudes in the gym to the guys around him. I'm just doing my thing, getting dressed, putting on deodorant when the guy notices me.

Guy: See, this guy gets it. Thank you for actually using deodorant.

Me: No sweat.

When I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

You go to Gravy Jones' Locker

In the locker room we were talking about marathon runners, and our goalie says: "Yeah those Kenyan's always win, you'd be fast too if there were lions chasing you." To which I replied: "I've never seen a lion on any marathon course." One of our defensemen, who just fathered twins pipes up: "Yeah, but there are plenty of cougars."

Today,The kids were asked to put everything from their lockers into garbage sack before they could play basketball. Several "look how big my sack is/quit touching my sack" jokes followed. I said, "quit talking about your sacks, or you won't be able to play with the balls." Apparently dadjokes overlap with junior high jokes.

In my school, lockers are placed in very inconvenient places, so many teachers allow us to use their rooms as storage spaces. A girl came into one of my classes and asked if she could use my teachers room. He told her yes, but that last year, her check bounced. Her response was "Did it bounce very far?" and proceeded to laugh for awhile at her own wit, and then left the room.

My friend lost his keys to his locker full of electronic circuitry, wires and similar stuff. He told me he lockpicked it open and I asked him if he has freed the resistors.