I can’t believe it’s not butter!
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick!
Like, seriously. How low can you go?
I can’t believe I’m being evicted for telling a joke about a llama
I guess alpaca my bags and leave
I can’t believe how cheesy this sub is.
https://imgur.com/gallery/bWpJujh
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
I can’t believe some lowlife broke into my garage. They took my prized possession: my Limbo bar.
I mean how low can you go?
Some people don't believe in evolution.
They're primate change deniers.
What do you call someone who likes Easter but doesn’t believe in the Easter Bunny?
Can’t believe someone rubbed one off, in elevator
i cant believe i got fired from the calendar factory, all i did was take a day off.
Can you believe people actually eat mountain oysters?
I jokingly told my X-ray technician that I didn't believe in X-rays...
but she saw right through me.
Those who believe in the calendar are going to die soon,
...their days are numbered.
I didn't believe my dad was stealing from the DOT...
But when I checked his room, the signs were all there.
I couldn't believe that someone said they were going to turn me into an animal.
I can’t believe it’s not...
I believe instead of 911 or 112, in case of a medical emergency you should call 12345678
Because that's the proper First Aid number
Does this pun believe here ?
I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.
It seems like just yesterday.
I told my dad, "I can't believe I failed my biology exam."
I can’t believe my wife named our son Left without consulting me
My friends don’t believe I can make cement
They’re always asking for concrete evidence
Couldn't believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.
Tell a man there are three hundred billion stars in the universe, and he believes you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he has to touch it to be sure.
I believe I speak for almost all of us here
*Good morning
*Buenos dias
*Bonjour
*Guten Morgen
*Boungiorno
*Bom dia
*God morgon
*Selamat pagi
*Goedemorgen
*God morgen
*Dobroye utro
I can't believe in Drano anymore...
I found out it was a lye...
There is a cult where they don’t believe in using coins.
Sounds like a bunch of non-cents!
I can’t believe people are still making “Friends” references 15 years after the show ended.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
Can you believe that they are still together after all of the crap they have been through?
Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t know this sub existed. I gotta say, I am a HUGE FAN!
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.
You can say I'm agnocchic.
I believe I have made a hum(o)rous (c)omedic joke.
Nobody believes me when I say I can name the prime minister of Canada
Why should you never believe a clock?
It usually has second hand information
Can't believe 2020 is already over.
I had a friend join at cult that believes when they die they become water vapor
I told him they will be mist
Believe it or not, my wife appreciates my input when we go shopping for decorations...
...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"
(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)
I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.
Like seriously, how low can you go ?
I can't believe I just got fired from the calendar factory...
All I did was take a day off.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing stuff from his highway maintenance job.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing street names right off the posts.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory!!!
all I did was take a day off
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I can’t believe that even after 15 years, I would still hear people making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
