I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
Those who believe in the calendar are going to die soon,
...their days are numbered.
I couldn't believe that someone said they were going to turn me into an animal.
I can't believe I've become attracted to statues...
Now I've really hit rock bottom.
I’m so glad 2020 is over, but I can’t believe we have to go through it again after 2021...
After all, it’s twenty twenty too
I don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis if you will.
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.
I can’t believe I wasted all my time trying to help rearrange the vending machines at my local grocery store...
I’ve been moving them around all day but they still say they are “Out of Order”
I believe it is absolutely nessesery to teach our childer calculus.
It's an integral part of education.
I can't believe I was able to trade a piece of fruit for a measuring device.
I'm starting to believe this 'flat earth' thing...
... every photo I've seen of the earth is flat!
I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses
But I couldn't ignore the red flags any longer.
My friend joined a cult who believe that we’ll all turn to water and be evaporated into a bigger life force...
I said... you’ll be mist...
Why did the Pharaoh refuse to believe his son had drowned?
Because he was in The Nile
I tried to believe my son when he said he was not stealing arcs from his geometry class...
But upon checking his backpack, all the sines were there.
You'd never believe that Hank Hill quit his job at Strickland to become a drug dealer
He now sells cocaine and cocaine accessories
I had to use the bathroom. Couldn’t believe someone dropped a deuce right on the floor.
Can you believe that Boeing is going to start building planes out of cardboard to save money?!
We can’t just let things like this fly!
I can't believe somebody had the nerve to break into my house and steal my limbo stick.
I mean seriously, how low can you go?
I'd like to believe I'm okay at art, but
Don't bother reading that "ultimate" workout blog. "You won't believe" their advice is just to walk 1,000 meters a day.
It's hard to believe March 12th is already National Pancake Day!
It really crêped up on us this year didn't it!
I couldn't believe I got to use this
Wife-Can you be serious for a minute?
Me-*grins* Ok and you be Shirley
Wife-I'm serious!
Me-Shirley you can't be Serious, I'm Serious
This actually happened. :)
I can't believe my wife wanted me to get rid of my silt collection!
It's like she doesn't understand the sedimental value!
I’ve been to a parallel universe where oranges don’t exist, but my friends won’t believe me.
I guess they think it’s pulp fiction.
My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our friend Ty is now the state boxing champion.
The Chinese don’t want to recognize Ty won.
I told my son I believe everyone goes to heaven until the resurrection of the saints
He said, "Why just the saints? There's like 31 other football teams."
This just happened: I explained to my 11 year-old niece that wheat pennies are/were a thing. She didn’t believe me, so she looked it up on grandma’s phone. To our surprise, we learned that there are some people selling wheat pennies online for *thousands* to *TENS* *of* *thousands* of dollars.
To which I said, “That doesn’t make cents.”
I firmly believe that rye is superior to pumpernickel in every way.
...thank you for attending my bread talk.
I said to my wife, "I refuse to believe our son got fired for theft as a road worker!"
My wife replied, "Come on Simon, the signs were all there."
My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.
They said I have a pre existing condition.
I used to believe a ocean of orange soda existed...
...turns out it was just a fanta sea
My friend Adam was telling me how, in addition to marrying a hot super model whose daddy bought the house he lives in and the car he drives just for marrying his daughter, he was also sexing up a hot stewardess. I found it hard to believe...
Because Adams make up everything!
I refuse to believe that my road work father was stealing from his job.
But when i got home all the signs were there.
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop
But when I got home all the signs were there
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing stuff from his highway maintenance job.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing street names right off the posts.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I never wanted to believe that my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker
but when I got home, all the signs were there
I refused to believe my son got fired as a road worker for theft.
But when I got home, all the signs were there
My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
My friend claims that he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him.
But that's his story and he's sticking to
it.
I can't believe I'm about to post this
I didn’t want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home, all the signs were there
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