Where did the one armed man go
A ate a burger from a 1-armed chef.
He said it was a handburger.
Are the guards at the Paralympics armed?
Or is that considered cheating?
A store clerk fought off an armed robber with a labeling gun
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
How do one-armed mothers raise their kids?
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
A heavily armed man runs into an estate agent....Screaming....
An armed robber bursts into a store one day.
Pointing his firearm at two cashiers, he shouts “hand over the contents of the cash register! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession...you know, a habitual occupation followed for a livelihood and involving commercial transactions!”
Cashier 1: “What do we do?”
Cashier 2: “Do what he says, I think he means business!”
I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.
I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
What does a one-armed person has no need for?
What do you call a band of well-armed lesbians?
What do you call armed toddlers?
The infantry
Edit: joke origin u/Strawberry_Milk97 and u/Izzy3710
What do you call a tree full of armed infants?
How do u get a one-armed monkey down from a coconut tree?
One armed butlers
They can take it but they can't dish it out
I've been practicing one-armed pushups recently,
I'm so good now I can do them two at a time.
I was tried for armed robbery, but the case was overturned on a technicality.
My father always said I lack conviction.
What is the best armed country in the world?
How do you get a one-armed man down from a flag pole?
A person without arms and a knife in their mouth is still technically armed,
I was served by a one armed waiter once
You’ve got to hand it to him
How do one armed moms take care of their kids?
My rich friend hired a one-armed butler, and is now regretting it.
Local news reports an armed and dangerous loaf of bread:
they say he's packing wheat.
What do you call a one-armed karate man?
Why did I hire myself a one armed Butler!
How do one armed people go about the it daily routines?
What do you call a depot where the armed forces store their camouflage?
I took a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters
Who is the healthiest person in the Armed Forces?
How do you get a one armed wally out of a tree
Have you heard about the one-armed bandit? ...
He has already robbed five banks single-handedly.
If I had a dollar for every time I've committed armed robbery...
I'd be a pretty lousy robber.
What did the driver with the cockney accent tell the one armed, three headed hitchhiker?
'Allo, 'allo, 'allo! You seem 'armless enough. 'Op in!
Did you already know that teachers are armed?
Even worse, they have two of them!
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
She didn't laugh but I hope you folks did.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labeling gun.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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