What happens when you mix alcohol and literature?
I abuse alcohol.
Do i really abuse or Aboooze it?
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems
I bought a car that runs on alcohol instead of gas
If alcohol can damage your short term memory
Imagine the damage alcohol can do.
Marine iguana's should be as legal as alcohol!
After a really bad experience with alcohol, I gave up drinking altogether.
I'm fine with alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line !
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
Some people have an addiction to alcohol, some to drugs.
Mine was to sandpaper. It was wearing me down.
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
Tequila Mockingbird
My dad told me this a few months ago. And he loves to remind me of it every week. It is his dadiest dad joke. It makes him so happy and that makes me happy. Hope it made some of you smile!
A man tries to teach his son the cons of alcohol.
he gets two worms, puts one in vodka, and one in water. The worm in vodka dies in 20 minutes, while the worm in water survives 3 whole days. the man asks his son, "what did you learn today?" and the son responds "never bathe in alcohol"
My horses have started to make alcohol
On my ochem exam i was asked what IPA (isopropyl alcohol) was used for
Why did the Mexican alcohol manufacturer chuck his wife off a cliff?
My doctor said I should drink alcohol in moderation. I don't think I can control my drinking...
... but it's worth a shot!
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with pressure in a small space?
If coffee comes from coffee beans, where does alcohol come from?
Last night, there was such an amazing stand-up comedian at the party that we decided to raise our glasses filled with alcohol to praise him.
Where do mice get their illegal alcohol?
I have no trouble holding my alcohol
unless the glass is slippery
Found out I was allergic to alcohol
Every time I drank I broke out in handcuffs
Drinking alcohol removes pimples.
Not from me, but from other people.
What is a chickens favorite alcohol?
Alcohol is gay.
Cause when you have it, you can't think straight.
Did you know that the celebrityJonathan Ross was making illicit alcohol?
Kids, dont use alcohol.
An alcohol leads to an alcodoor which opens up into an alcoroom. You don't want to see what's in the alcoroom.
cleaning with alcohol doesn't work...
...NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.
When I drink alcohol, everyone says I’m alcoholic
But when I drink Fanta, no one says I’m fantastic...
We went to a national park yesterday and they told us at the gate that there's no drug or alcohol in the park
I told them that it was ok, we brought our own.
Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:
“A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.”
Alcohol is not a problem.
I went shopping in two different stores today for alcohol and, both times, was asked to remove my sunglasses.
I guess I must've looked shady.
[Based on a true story!]
Alcohol is gay cuz when u are drunk you cant think straight
For years, my family has always taught me that alcohol and golf don't go well together.
That's why I don't drink and drive.
If alcohol can damage your short term memory
Just think what alcohol can do!
What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American literature ?
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol.
He doesn’t drink, he’s just terrible at crosswords.
What do you call the mixture of American literature and alcohol?
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