Doctor: "Alcoholism is a disease. "
Bartender: "Get your shots here !!"
Where can you look up the definitions of drug abuse, alcoholism, and problem gambling?
Where does the alcoholic swim?
Canadian alcoholics are very mad at me
The commercial said Drink Canada Dry!
If alcohol can make you alcoholic...
Then Fanta can make you Fantastic.
What’s an alcoholic’s favorite book?
Did you hear that the court overturned the alcohol levy on a technicality?
Apparently they did not like the syntax.
What happens when you mix alcohol and literature?
An alcoholic wakes up in jail and asks the nearest officer why he's there
"For excessive drinking" the officer replies
So the prisoner replies "Great, when do we start?"
Where did the alcoholic battery go?
Did you hear about the alcoholic law student?
She couldn't pass the bar.
What the fuck has happened to this sub!?
http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems
I bought an alcoholic ginger beer today.
I abuse alcohol.
Do i really abuse or Aboooze it?
I bought a car that runs on alcohol instead of gas
Which alcoholic drink can give you the illusion that you're hurt?
If alcohol can damage your short term memory
Imagine the damage alcohol can do.
Did you hear about the dangerous alcoholic who consumed his booze from a sizzling Chinese frying pan?
He liked to drink risky on the woks
Marine iguana's should be as legal as alcohol!
Why did the alcoholic rooster keep running around in circles?
It was chasing after a cocktail.
After a really bad experience with alcohol, I gave up drinking altogether.
Tequila might not be the answer
I'm fine with alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line !
Where does a Canadian alcoholic go to get help?
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
My dad was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer
He could never pass the bar
Some people have an addiction to alcohol, some to drugs.
Mine was to sandpaper. It was wearing me down.
Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?
Because they take Boos everywhere they go!
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
Tequila Mockingbird
My dad told me this a few months ago. And he loves to remind me of it every week. It is his dadiest dad joke. It makes him so happy and that makes me happy. Hope it made some of you smile!
I've been told I'm an alcoholic....
I decided to drink about it.
Why can’t alcoholics become lawyers?
Because they can never just pass a bar.
On my ochem exam i was asked what IPA (isopropyl alcohol) was used for
A man tries to teach his son the cons of alcohol.
he gets two worms, puts one in vodka, and one in water. The worm in vodka dies in 20 minutes, while the worm in water survives 3 whole days. the man asks his son, "what did you learn today?" and the son responds "never bathe in alcohol"
My horses have started to make alcohol
Did you hear the alcoholic skydiver is feeling unwell
He's coming down with a cold one
Why did the Mexican alcohol manufacturer chuck his wife off a cliff?
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
What do you call alcoholics anonymous in Canada?
What do alcoholic horses drink?
Doctor: "Alcoholism is a disease. "
Barman: "Get your shots here."
If alcohol can damage your short term memory
Just think what alcohol can do!
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