Some people have an addiction to alcohol, some to drugs.
Mine was to sandpaper. It was wearing me down.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
As a therapist who helps monsters overcome drug addiction...
Vampires are hands down the worst at self-reflection.
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︎ Mar 25 2019
What do you call a duck with a drug addiction?
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︎ Jul 27 2019
A drug addicted midget is the only thing that will always be both lower and higher than me at the same time.
Setting my heights real low on this one guys. Lol
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︎ Aug 25 2020
How do drug addicts breath?
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︎ Sep 06 2020
What do drug addicts and pharaohs have in common?
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︎ Jul 20 2020
How can you tell a train conductor is a drug addict?
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︎ Jul 17 2020
A bird addicted to drugs goes to their dealer.
Trying to get their fix, they buy a quaailude.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
I knew a drug addict that was so desperate for a high he snorted curry powder. Got really ill and taken to hospital.
He was put in an induced korma.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
What is something that a drug addict and a duck does?
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︎ Apr 22 2020
What do you call an Octopus addicted to drugs?
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︎ Jan 25 2020
What did the drug addict text his girlfriend?
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︎ Mar 29 2020
The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.
Turns out they had a lot of trouble putting him in his coffin. Because everytime they put his right leg in, he put his right leg out.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
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︎ Nov 24 2019
What do you call a drug addicted Alligator?
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︎ Oct 29 2019
What did the drug addict with a lisp say when he crashed his car?
βI really methed up.β
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︎ Oct 31 2019
Whatβs a duck drug addict addicted to?
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︎ Oct 05 2019
I heard some drug addict wanted to kill himself by injecting heroin but failed to do so.
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︎ Oct 21 2019
What do you call a vampire addicted to drugs?
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︎ Sep 17 2017
Did you know a lot of drug addicts are experts in geology?
Theyβre called stoners for a reason, you know.
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︎ Dec 24 2018
What was the health conscious, drug addict's favourite drink?
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︎ Aug 30 2019
What do you call a duck thatβs addicted to drugs?
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︎ Feb 16 2019
What do you call a dictionary that is a drug addict
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︎ Mar 24 2019
Just met a Chinese drug addict...
He said βhave you seen my cocaineβ and I said, βnot since his role in the recent Batman moviesβ
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︎ May 08 2019
What did the drug test say to the addict?
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︎ Feb 17 2019
Did you hear about the female superhero now addicted to drugs.
She's a Heroine addicted to Heroin.
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︎ Apr 28 2019
A method actor who takes a role of a drug addict is a Meth O.D. actor
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︎ Jul 04 2018
Don't steal from your friends to buy drugs. That's addict move.
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︎ Sep 17 2017
I caught a drug addict fish today
I'm not sure what he was on but he was hooked on something.
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︎ Jun 15 2017
Why did the drug addict fall over?
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︎ Sep 27 2018
Why are drug addicts afraid of heights?
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︎ Sep 12 2018
Some Lorde fans became addicted to a famous injectable drug.
I guess their blood is pure heroin(e) now.
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︎ Aug 24 2015
Say addicted after every question
β’ What do you call a person that drinks too much?
addicted
β’ What do you call a person that uses too many drugs?
addicted
β’ What do you call a person that eats to much?
addicted
β’ What slapped you across the face last night?
addicted
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︎ May 17 2020
Post breakup dad jokes can hurt... But damn they can be funny..
Significant other recently dumped me to heal some personal life issues alone. Call the family and explain the situation, tell them that bf was sadly a recovering drug addict.
Go home to enjoy a mom daughter weekend. Bad dad joke ensues.
Dad calls: What are you and your mom up to today?
Me: We just finished a manicure pedicure session.
Dad: I thought you just got rid of one of those?
Me: ...what?..
Dad: A man-to-cure.
Me: .....Face palm. Okay dad... That was pretty good.
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︎ Jun 04 2015
Just met a Chinese drug addict. He asked, "Have you seen my cocaine?".
I said "Not since he starred in Zulu".
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︎ May 07 2019
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