Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....

He seizures when you’re sleeping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_fury_2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What do you call a cow with epilepsy?

Beef jerky!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BourbonNBacon88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What do you call a Roman with epilepsy?

Julius seizure

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?

Julius Seizure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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What's the name of the only Roman Emperor to die due to to Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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What do you call a lettuce with epilepsy

A seizure salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thearabest2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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I have an idea for a movie about a narcotics officer who suffers from epilepsy

It's called, Narcolepsy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmackrel
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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If you have epilepsy, don't fall into a bowl of lettuce.

You'd become a seizure salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MineMine132
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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Did you hear about the bartender with epilepsy?

His career ended pourly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mourningsoup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener....

Now her clothes don't fit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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How do epileptics make the most of life?

Seize the day!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
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Medical emergencies can be funny, too.

Had a seizure. Epilepsy sucks. I woke up, then this happened.

Dad: "Ah, you're awake. Did you see God?"

I couldn't quite see yet, but I knew he was waiting to say something clever. So I tried to turn it around before I passed out again.

Me: "I don't know. I might have. If I did, he bears a striking resemblance to the carpet."

Dad: "Let us thank the Floored that you didn't hurt yourself."

My stepmother said he made several more while I was out in the ER and in the ambulance.

Goddammit, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZTheJerk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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"What's the caller ID say?"

"Epilepsy foundation."

"You need to seize that call!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stophauntingme
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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What do you call a cow with epilepsy?

Beef Jerky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MitsuEvol
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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