My dad's been suffering from seizures...

So far, they have taken his car, his house and his boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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My grandma had a terrible seizure this morning....

10kg of Cocaine.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What do you call a cow with seizures

Beef jerky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Abuot to have a seizure
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikram007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Caesar's seizures
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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My girlfriend left me after my iguana was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.

She said she couldn’t date a man with a reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayytown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow having a seizure?

A protein shake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do people who have seizures in the middle of a "Peek-A-Boo" game go?

They go to the ICU.

I'll show myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowingMyselfOut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
🚨︎ report
If the black guy from House had a seizure from flashing lights, how would House diagnose him?

Epps-ilepsy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquirrellyOtter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call an attractive person having a seizure?

Fit.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Dark-Sage17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Can someone think of a good pun about search & seizures?

I want to think of one for a research paper on the subject but Im unable to think of one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suna123
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
🚨︎ report
When I had my first seizure...

I was so scared, I was shaking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patricktoba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....

He seizures when you’re sleeping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_fury_2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I'm going to open a pizza joint where they shake a box a bit before they hand it to you.

I'll call it Little Seizures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.

Also known as a Julius Seizure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbor is an epileptic midget who really loves pizza.

Seems like everyday he’s having little seizures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do you always know ask on the fridge before opening it?

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ankitk2909
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What is an epileptic's favourite appetiser?

Seizure salad

I'm going to hell for this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an epileptic emperor?

Julius seizure

Edit: Oh and thanks a bunch for the silver homie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LimblessOctopus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My Doctor has me on a diet to help epilepic attacks...

Mainly spasmati rice and seizure salads...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Roman with epilepsy?

Julius seizure

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?

Julius Seizure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the only Roman Emperor to die due to to Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you cut a Pizza?

With little Caesars (Seezors)

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trubino19
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What does an epileptic on a diet eat?

A seizure salad

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gua_lao_wai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a series of short strokes induced by consuming pizza?

Little Seizures

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_a_dum_bum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh Doctor.

"hey doc! Look, that guy is having a seizure!" "Aah.... He should prolly shake it off."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdang5543
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a lettuce with epilepsy

A seizure salad

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thearabest2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the only food they serve at raves?

Seizure Salad

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dockie27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an epileptic's least favorite kind of salad?

Seizure salad

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If you have epilepsy, don't fall into a bowl of lettuce.

You'd become a seizure salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MineMine132
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought a head of epileptic lettuce

Had to make "seizure" salad

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jawknee_homicide
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Witnessed this beauty in line at a catering table...

There was a spread of meats and salads for dinner, and above the table was a light that was flickering - giving off a strobe effect.

To which the person behind me casually remarks under his breath; β€œHmm, don’t mind me a bit of seizure salad”.

I thought it was great. No one else seemed to appreciate it.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freeebbo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

A seizure salad.

(It was suggested to post this here from r/jokes)

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Isitfortytwo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
🚨︎ report
TIL that Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.

His name? Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvenDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that has seizures?

Beef jerky

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dantheman1963
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow has a seizure?

A protein shake

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I had pizza that made me shake a bit.

It was from Little Seizures.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call an epileptic emperor?

juilus seizure

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeliverDaLiver
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the only food they serve at raves?

Seizure Salad

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dockie27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an epileptic's most despised appetizer?

Seizure salad.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marimochan96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
🚨︎ report
What's an epileptic's least favorite kind of salad?

A seizure salad.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you do with epileptic lettuce?

You make a seizure salad.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/birthday-party
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2013
🚨︎ report

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