My dad's been suffering from seizures...
So far, they have taken his car, his house and his boat.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
My grandma had a terrible seizure this morning....
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What do you call a cow with seizures
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︎ May 08 2020
Abuot to have a seizure
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︎ Mar 01 2019
Caesar's seizures
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︎ Feb 06 2019
My girlfriend left me after my iguana was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.
She said she couldnβt date a man with a reptile dysfunction
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︎ Jul 15 2019
What do you call a cow having a seizure?
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︎ Mar 29 2019
Where do people who have seizures in the middle of a "Peek-A-Boo" game go?
They go to the ICU.
I'll show myself out.
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︎ Nov 21 2015
If the black guy from House had a seizure from flashing lights, how would House diagnose him?
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︎ Nov 16 2017
What do you call an attractive person having a seizure?
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︎ Aug 11 2017
Can someone think of a good pun about search & seizures?
I want to think of one for a research paper on the subject but Im unable to think of one.
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︎ May 06 2014
When I had my first seizure...
I was so scared, I was shaking.
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︎ Oct 11 2016
A jean-ius brain.
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︎ May 30 2021
What do you call a person with epilepsy laying on a bed of lettuce?
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︎ Apr 02 2021
Why did the epileptic come to the USA?
To have the right to be secure against unreasonable seizure.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Why did Julius Caesar, after having an epileptic fit, during the time he was a hostage of pirates, immediately need a dictionary?
As Caesar's seizure ceased at sea, he said "I'm sleepy" and grabbed some zzz's.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....
He seizures when youβre sleeping.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I'm going to open a pizza joint where they shake a box a bit before they hand it to you.
I'll call it Little Seizures.
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Itβs a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.
Also known as a Julius Seizure.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
My neighbor is an epileptic midget who really loves pizza.
Seems like everyday heβs having little seizures.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
Why do you always know ask on the fridge before opening it?
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
What do you call an epileptic emperor?
Julius seizure
Edit: Oh and thanks a bunch for the silver homie
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︎ Dec 20 2019
What is an epileptic's favourite appetiser?
Seizure salad
I'm going to hell for this
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you call a Roman with epilepsy?
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︎ Jun 14 2020
My Doctor has me on a diet to help epilepic attacks...
Mainly spasmati rice and seizure salads...
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︎ Jul 07 2020
What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?
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︎ Jun 19 2019
What's the name of the only Roman Emperor to die due to to Epilepsy?
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︎ Nov 30 2019
How do you cut a Pizza?
With little Caesars (Seezors)
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︎ Nov 26 2018
What does an epileptic on a diet eat?
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︎ Oct 04 2019
What do you call a series of short strokes induced by consuming pizza?
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︎ Feb 10 2019
Oh Doctor.
"hey doc! Look, that guy is having a seizure!"
"Aah.... He should prolly shake it off."
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︎ May 27 2019
What's the only food they serve at raves?
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︎ Jan 06 2019
What's an epileptic's least favorite kind of salad?
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︎ Jul 10 2019
If you have epilepsy, don't fall into a bowl of lettuce.
You'd become a seizure salad.
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︎ May 15 2018
I bought a head of epileptic lettuce
Had to make "seizure" salad
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︎ Jul 14 2017
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?
A seizure salad.
(It was suggested to post this here from r/jokes)
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︎ Aug 01 2017
Witnessed this beauty in line at a catering table...
There was a spread of meats and salads for dinner, and above the table was a light that was flickering - giving off a strobe effect.
To which the person behind me casually remarks under his breath; βHmm, donβt mind me a bit of seizure saladβ.
I thought it was great. No one else seemed to appreciate it.
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︎ Mar 08 2018
What do you call a cow that has seizures?
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︎ Jun 02 2018
What do you get when a cow has a seizure?
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︎ Mar 29 2019
I had pizza that made me shake a bit.
It was from Little Seizures.
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︎ Aug 29 2019
What do you call a lettuce with epilepsy
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︎ Jun 25 2019
what do you call an epileptic emperor?
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︎ Aug 17 2019
What's an epileptic's most despised appetizer?
π︎ 50
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︎ Oct 20 2016
What's the only food they serve at raves?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 06 2019
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