Join the fight against PunPatrol and join r/PunArmedForces
I'm asking you to make a good Rage Against the Machine joke
And now you do what they told ya
What fatal mistake did I make playing Battleship against Cancer?
Why did the Empire often find itself at a stalemate against the Rebels?
Because they had Tie-fighters
I used to be against organ transplants...
...but not after I had a change of heart.
I played chess against my computer and won by forfeit. Want to know how ?
I kept ignoring the low battery alert.
What's the best self-defense against a violent letter carrier?
Kick him in the male bag.
I am for and against quantum computing at the same time.
My math teacher told me I am in an entanglement.
Why did Trump smash so many plates against the wall?
He wanted to seem tough on china.
What not to say in an argument against a bald person?
I was so angry earlier that I threw my keyboard against the wall and parts flew everywhere.
That's when the shift hit the fan
Did you hear about the boat crew of cats that staged a coup against their captain?
Federal authorities have just ruled against prescription marijuana if you're also taking laxatives
The director was quoted saying, "you need to shit or get off the pot".
Never play poker against a toilet
They’re always getting flushes
So an owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall..
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
What do you call people who discriminate against fat people?
You’ve heard of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), but have you heard of DDAM?
I once saw Freddie Mercury smash two bottles of wine against a wall. However, this didn't satisfy him.
Afterwards he said, "I want to break three."
Argentina and Germany join Italy in their protest against the world cup.
They refuse to play football in Qatar.
Why are conservatives against the metric system?
I'm against driving when drunk
What did Caeser say when Marc Antony told him that Vercingetorix had moved against him?
A buddy of mine believed in a lot of conspiracy theories. He even once believed and protested against global cooling, then global warming. He's thinking about hanging it all up, though.
Both he and this are anticlimatic.
Why was the dog racist against Asians?
His brother died by youth-in-asia
Surfers are getting pitted (against each other)
Why did the dog lift his leg against the same fencepost another dog just used?
He wanted to share the post his friend liked.
You don't have anything against Middle Eastern languages...
I was going to take up ballet. Then I decided against it.
I figured, “What’s the pointe?”
What do you do if a banana judge ruled against you?
We had a guy working at the homeless shelter by letting people rest against him.
He was a real pillow of the community.
Saw a new spin on a classic boardgame. You play as punctuation waging war against each other across the English language.
I'm vaccinated against small pox AND chicken pox.
Why is it against the law for an eagle to get sick?
Because then they'd be illegal.
The last time the United States had to fight off a foreign invasion was against the British in The War of 1812.
Just think, if the British had won, we'd all be speaking English now.
Johnny Depp testified against Amber Heard in court to show us his own side of things.
He gave his Depp Position.
I was thinking about making a trip to Rio De Janeiro but decided against it
It's way too expensive.
It cost like a Brazillion dollars!
I'm against CRT in classrooms...
Students deserve modern flat-screen monitors.
Our son told us he is going to protest against ghosts tomorrow.
So he will be taking it to the sheets.
Why did the police use onions and beans against protestors?
I hear Russia started an offensive against Ukrainian wheat fields.
They're taking them with a grain assault.
I’m against mixing races
Formula 1 cars just couldn’t compete with Indy cars.
My wife was against replacing our old water filter, but complains when the water tastes like rust.
Now, she can really taste the iron-y.
I ran against a bagel store owner for the local council, but lost.
Turns out he runs one heck of a Schmear campaign
I had my back against the window
when I felt a shutter down my spine
Just went in a fight against 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9
I used to be against organ donation ....
.....but I've recently had a change of heart.
Swiss cheese is the easiest cheese to debate against.
Their arguments are usually full of holes.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
