You're in your prime and everything feels very odd
So I went and got the shingles vaccine.
You will roux the day.
So if anyone asks, tell them you're Coronavirus positive 👍
They’re always a bit sharp.
I went through L to get there.
I can't think of anything clever.
"The opposite of right!"
Unless you’re ready for the reaper cushions!
“You herd me!"
There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.
“Look at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. “Earth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”
“A new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. “Let us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.
“I see”, said the student. “It’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”
“That’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. “You just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”
His students registered dismay and anguish.
“Isn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.
“Ahm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. “Oh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.
“So you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, “Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”
Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. “And he”, he said, turning to his students, “is clearly the gradi
... keep reading on reddit ➡New Foreskin Unlocked.
They all tell me it's naan optional.
I ran out of thyme.
It was a discount viscount recount.
"I'm playing the toe tactic"
He bought he friends 3,5,7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
Cuz they fast!
Unless you’re prepared to deal with the Reaper cushions.
stolen from r/jokes. Credit to u/shopcounterwill. I don’t know how to link or tag stuff on Reddit
Edit: apparently I do. Haha
You could say my competition is getting slim.
Dodge ball can become dangerous, but it's fun.
What a soar loser.
Daredevil dared evil!
It was a Jag war.
My next challenge is a green sock.
We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.
We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.
We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.
So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.
We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??
He challenged me and asked me to name 3 songs. I told him "I'm sorry. I only know One"
But he came unarmed :/
It’s called the Diffi cult.
It was a Thai
...Unless you are prepared for the Reaper Cushions.
Unless you are ready to handle the reaper cushions.
Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions
Unless you are prepared to face the reaper cushions.
Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.
The odds were against me
Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
Unless you’re ready to face the reaper cushions
The odds were against me.
but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.
The odds were against me.
