Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RushilPc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
A ball is flying towards me

and then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethereal_sandwich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I was stood in a field the other day wondering why the frisbee coming towards me was getting bigger

Then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanlloyd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
This is another step towards greatness
πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexy_balls_69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?

Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6yo holds a slice of red pepper up to my face and breaks it towards me. Me: β€œUgh, what did you do that for. You got me all wet.”

β€œThat was pepper spray.”

Got me!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gorescittmore
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend has a strong prejudice towards people who have no feet...

I think he’s lack-toes intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErebusDarkstar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Hurricane Marco is headed towards land

Hurricane polo is nowhere in sight

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/airhogg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Lately, I’ve grown increasingly apathetic towards eating vegetables

Some days, I just don’t carrot all

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom told me the first step towards recovery is admitting your fault

So I asked if that’s why people are admitted to the hospital

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_controler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I put a new shelf towards the top of my fridge

The steaks have never been higher

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...

Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't understand all this hate towards non traditional number systems

I for 1, love Roman numerals.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoenixFlamebird
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why were people running towards Finland?

It was a race to the Finnish.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocoBandicoot99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Has anyone heard about the new feature on computers to pander toward the newer generation?

It's called Ctrl-ALT-YEET.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueDitty
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw this odd guy walking towards the cemetery with a shovel...

I had grave concerns

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call bigotry toward toeless people?

Lactose intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WenDMegs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad, is that a buffalo running right towards us?

bison

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
As I stared at the hot water flowing towards my shower drain I realized something.

It's all downhill from here.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever since I lost my toes in a climbing accident, my best friend has been acting hostile towards me...

I guess he is lack-toes intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennyjiang
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?

A quick pick-me-up.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote a book about Nemo and his rage towards plastic. It's called…

Nemo 3: The last straw

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"

"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the horse start walking towards the water?

Because he wanted to be a seahorse.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/randomestredditor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference in a duck descending towards land vs a duck descending towards water?

One is going to land on land, but the other won't water on water. ...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MYZS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
As I was rowing my boat towards the shore, a small black bird stopped me from docking.

Quoth the raven, β€œNever moor.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Steps toward a great joke.

I really have two left feet when it comes to labeling pictures. https://imgur.com/gallery/XCm5FH6

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jotorka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Towards the end of December, I saw Bobby Fischer and Gary Kasparov in a hotel lobby, both saying they were the better chess player.

That's the best thing about Christmas - chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I had just come home from work when my wife ran towards me and tore off her clothes.

At that moment my wife flashed before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ADmax27
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I have have managed to save $10 towards a large sack of raisins.

It's in my current account.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buggaboobooy
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My alcohol is rude towards me

It's a mean spirit

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CombustibleDoge
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The Government is pushing us towards a cashless society. But I won't stand for it...

I want change!

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GingerBraFace
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2017
🚨︎ report
It is my second year towards my cosmetology degree, and I’m starting to get a little worried.

When are we going to learn about space?

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My dog was rolling around in a blanket, then I came into the room, he ran right towards me

but his hair was sticking up on end, I guess he is ecstatic to see me

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilpuddingman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I threw a firecracker towards a dart board.

It was bang on target.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MANTRA2018
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I had someone knock on my door asking for small donations towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 767
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Today a man came to my house and asked for a small donation towards a local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill.

Looks like she is preparing some kind of barbie queue.

πŸ‘︎ 169
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 636
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yea_I_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Somebody just knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

So I gave him a glass of water!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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