.mo Puns

Me: Dinner is served as soon as you dress the salad.

Wife: What are you thinking?

Me: Business casual.

It’s two Chewie.

mos cow

What do they do with the rest of the mole?

Mo-Napoli!

The guy had to stay in the hospital for weeks and spent all of his money on surgical operations. However, they still couldn't fix his tailbone.

Now he's just some broke(n) ass Mo(e) fo(e).

A mosKeto!

Mo-roccan.

This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.

You better Appa-logize right now or else!

Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said “looks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh 😆!

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

“Look at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. “Earth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

“A new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. “Let us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

“I see”, said the student. “It’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

“That’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. “You just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

“Isn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

“Ahm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. “Oh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

“So you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, “Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. “And he”, he said, turning to his students, “is clearly the gradi

Presidentures

Me: Meet me at Mo's Egg House at 8AM. The rental place opens at 9AM and we can get some breakfast. Boyfriend: I know eggsactly where that is.

It's nice to know if they get married and have kids my grandchildren will be in good hands.

A painting by Claude Monet was recently discovered. It's an illustration of a man's nose. The museum decided to title it Mon Nez

Explanation :

Mon and nez are respectively French for my and nose. If one pronounces mon and nez correctly, and rapidly, it sounds a bit like Monet (mo-nénè)

Edit: I made an error with the accents; chose aigu (é) instead of grave (è)

A Mos-cow

Mormon Emo Problems

I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.

Because it was mo-chilla

A mo-squito...

Mos-keto

... like moUths to a flame.

But it got shot down

" - Eenie, Meenie, Miney, and Fred." " - What about Moe?" "- Oh, she don't want no mo'.."

because there was mo of it

They were discussing an advent calendar which had angered people because the part of Baby Jesus was played by a sausage.

One of the panelists, I think Mo Rocca, quipped that people were frank-incensed.

Because Disney made Frozen about Elsa and then they thought, "We need mo' Anna."

Edit: Just a Dad on here trying to sharpen his punchlines.

They cell phones.

(Uk version) Why do companies like EE and O2 ban women called Maureen’s from stores?

Because MO BUY ALL (mobile) phones.

I work in a phone shop so I may have found these funnier than I should have

... Nous mo(u)rons.

I went to a diner called Mo's Egg House to grab some breakfast with some friends. We ended up ordering two eggs benedicts and two eggs florentine.

The waitress said "Wow, you guys are easy." To which I replied "overeasy."

Everyone hates me now. I love it.

Walking past a store called Lester's..

Friend: you know why they don't build any of these stores anymore?

Me: no, why?

Friend: because they don't want mo'lesters

Mos-keto.