I went to a christening where the priest was wearing glasses, a fake nose, fake moustache and a wig...

It was a blessing in disguise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Londoner1982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23
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I moustache you a question... can you count the puns? youtu.be/VCmtnrMhzA8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydaniell
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
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I almost lost my moustache today.

But it was right under my nose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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I didn't really like my moustache at first

but it grew on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MsWatsonsHungry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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I'm starting to like my moustache.

It's really growing on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cecal1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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My dad calls centipedes "wall moustaches". πŸ€”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jordan99ash
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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My movember moustache is really starting to grow on me.

Really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hanktank
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2015
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I've had a nice handlebar moustache for about a year now, and get a lot of compliments.

It's a conversation starter for sure, but once someone says "Hey nice moustache!" I always reply with "Thanks! It's grown on me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Damnyoureyes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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At first I didn't like my moustache

But now it's really growing on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solidbob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
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Vest ever pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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What type of facial hair often has to leave in a hurry?

A moustache.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kettykie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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I used to hate facial hair.

Then it grew on me.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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My ex-girlfriend's dad turned 50 and bought himself a Sebring convertible.

He was having a midlife Chrysler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquarePegSquared
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2016
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My son texted me saying he'd been robbed by some guy.

"Give me a quick description of what he looked like," I text him.

"Six foot beard with green eyes and a moustache."

I said, "His beard sounds terrifying."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Thirsty string

A piece of string goes to the local bar for a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve string here" and kicks him out. He puts on a cowboy hat and a fake moustache and tries again. The bartender sees through his disguise and kicks him out again. Dejected, he sits on the sidewalk until he gets a great idea. He ties himself into a knot and combs out one of his ends. After he enters the bar the bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out, twice?" and the piece of string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherzeg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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Brain to mouth filter disengaged

The other morning my daughter was feeling down because she has been outshined by a male in the mixed netball team and felt she couldn't do better because she was a girl.

I of course pointed out that girls can do anything that a guy can do if she puts her mind to it. So far so good.

ERROR - brain to mouth filter disengaged.

Then said, in earshot of my wife, look at your mother over there growing a moustache.

She did not find it as funny as we did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tailsandtails
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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Three strings were walking on a hot day in Arizona...

The sun was especially hot and they became thirsty. The first string said to his friends, "I know of a good bar down the street. Let's go get a drink." The three agreed and walked together to the bar.

The bar was dark and empty, with classic country playing over a scratchy AM radio. The bartender was a worn old man with a salt and pepper hair and a bushy moustache. They sat down at the bar together, relieved to be inside from the heat.

The bartender looked up with a sullen frown, as the first string ordered three beers. He stared at them for a long second and said, "We don't serve yer kind 'ere."

The strings sat for a moment, surprised at the bartender's prejudice, but stood up and left without a word. As they walked out into the desert heat again, the second string spoke up. "Man, I'm dying out here. We gotta get a drink somewhere."

"I know of another place," the first string said, and led them to a pub down the block. The three strings were badly dehydrated and getting tired,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WildCard1791
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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More of a dad "prank" i suppose...

When I was around 5 or 6 years old my dad was a police officer, and of course had a moustache. I remember one day he was in the bathroom for a little while with the door open standing by the sink, and called my sisters and I in there. As we approached the door, he sneezed this HUGE sneeze into a tissue. Pulled the tissue away, and his moustache was gone. Layed out perfectly on the tissue. We were so amazed that a sneeze could take his moustache right off of his face. We talked about it all day. Then we learned what shaving was

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ginnydyer_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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I'm a father of 5 and an avid cyclist. My 8 year old son came to me with this one yesterday.

8yo: "Dad! I've got a joke I think you'll like. It's about bikes."
Me: "Yeah? What is it?"
8yo: "What kind of moustache does a bike grow?"
Me: "I don't know."
8yo: "A handlebar!"

I'm very proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eccentricfather
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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The roles were reversed this time...

My dad has been growing a moustache for Movember, and I commented on it.

Me: You know, you should grow a Lenin beard; it'd suit you.

Him: Really?

Me: Yeah, you could cosplay as Lenin and go to conventions! Hey, you could go to CommieCon! [satisfied grin]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jec178
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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Another dad at Michael's.

The Mrs and I were at Michaels (hobby/craft store, if you haven't heard of it) looking for things for our kid's moustache themed first birthday party.

We were having trouble finding anything, so we asked a man. He said it was scattered all across the store, so naturally, I asked him "you mean you don't have a mus-stash?"

He was so impressed, he spent about fifteen minutes and showed us everything he could think of that was mustachioed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DjQball
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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