I went to a christening where the priest was wearing glasses, a fake nose, fake moustache and a wig...

It was a blessing in disguise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Londoner1982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I moustache you a question... can you count the puns? youtu.be/VCmtnrMhzA8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydaniell
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I almost lost my moustache today.

But it was right under my nose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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I didn't really like my moustache at first

but it grew on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MsWatsonsHungry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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I'm starting to like my moustache.

It's really growing on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cecal1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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My dad calls centipedes "wall moustaches". πŸ€”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jordan99ash
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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My movember moustache is really starting to grow on me.

Really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hanktank
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2015
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I've had a nice handlebar moustache for about a year now, and get a lot of compliments.

It's a conversation starter for sure, but once someone says "Hey nice moustache!" I always reply with "Thanks! It's grown on me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Damnyoureyes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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At first I didn't like my moustache

But now it's really growing on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solidbob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
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Vest ever pun
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I used to hate facial hair.

Then it grew on me.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What type of facial hair often has to leave in a hurry?

A moustache.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kettykie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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My ex-girlfriend's dad turned 50 and bought himself a Sebring convertible.

He was having a midlife Chrysler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquarePegSquared
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2016
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My son texted me saying he'd been robbed by some guy.

"Give me a quick description of what he looked like," I text him.

"Six foot beard with green eyes and a moustache."

I said, "His beard sounds terrifying."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Thirsty string

A piece of string goes to the local bar for a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve string here" and kicks him out. He puts on a cowboy hat and a fake moustache and tries again. The bartender sees through his disguise and kicks him out again. Dejected, he sits on the sidewalk until he gets a great idea. He ties himself into a knot and combs out one of his ends. After he enters the bar the bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out, twice?" and the piece of string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherzeg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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Brain to mouth filter disengaged

The other morning my daughter was feeling down because she has been outshined by a male in the mixed netball team and felt she couldn't do better because she was a girl.

I of course pointed out that girls can do anything that a guy can do if she puts her mind to it. So far so good.

ERROR - brain to mouth filter disengaged.

Then said, in earshot of my wife, look at your mother over there growing a moustache.

She did not find it as funny as we did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tailsandtails
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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More of a dad "prank" i suppose...

When I was around 5 or 6 years old my dad was a police officer, and of course had a moustache. I remember one day he was in the bathroom for a little while with the door open standing by the sink, and called my sisters and I in there. As we approached the door, he sneezed this HUGE sneeze into a tissue. Pulled the tissue away, and his moustache was gone. Layed out perfectly on the tissue. We were so amazed that a sneeze could take his moustache right off of his face. We talked about it all day. Then we learned what shaving was

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ginnydyer_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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I'm a father of 5 and an avid cyclist. My 8 year old son came to me with this one yesterday.

8yo: "Dad! I've got a joke I think you'll like. It's about bikes."
Me: "Yeah? What is it?"
8yo: "What kind of moustache does a bike grow?"
Me: "I don't know."
8yo: "A handlebar!"

I'm very proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eccentricfather
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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The roles were reversed this time...

My dad has been growing a moustache for Movember, and I commented on it.

Me: You know, you should grow a Lenin beard; it'd suit you.

Him: Really?

Me: Yeah, you could cosplay as Lenin and go to conventions! Hey, you could go to CommieCon! [satisfied grin]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jec178
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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