A punny take on the coronavirus situation using movies/tv series as puns
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
Does this count as pun?
π︎ 54
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
So do you call person who's really good in pun as pun master?
Or a pundit? I think I spun it incorrectly.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 23 2014
Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.
Iβm on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
I identify as a man, my birth certificate says Iβm a man, everybody I know says Iβm a man...
and yet according to Kraft Dinner, Iβm a 4-person family
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
π︎ 806
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.
They said it was grounds for termination.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
Wish I was as smooth! :(
π︎ 429
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
As the cop knocked on my door, I just stayed in complete silence. He then knocked again. Determined not to give myself away, I just stayed still.
Cop: "Do you think I am stupid ? I can see you through the window."
Mee: "You are not coming in."
Cop: "I don't want to come in. I want you to step out of your car !!"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
π︎ 115
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Yup I do as well
π︎ 393
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
I was confused as to how much lettuce to buy from the grocery store, so I called my wife.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
π︎ 357
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
I sexually identify as chocolate
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
π︎ 63
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
π︎ 262
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
One day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was a handed a letter and thought to myself..
π︎ 356
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
MY PARENTS RAISED ME AS AN ONLY CHILD
THIS REALLY ANNOYED MY YOUNGER SISTER.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
As we're driving through an industrial area, kid asks, "Why does this place smell terrible?"
Me: It's an olfactory response.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
"Hats" should be spelled as "HATS"
π︎ 134
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
As a patriot, I have decided to buy my next Honda directly from Japan and pay the necessary tariffs.
It will...be my Civic duty.
π︎ 68
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
I hated my job as a bowling alley union rep
They were always having strikes
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."
"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.
As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"
π︎ 144
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
I asked my mechanic why he was dressed as a female fox.
He said he was just vixen my car.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said...
"You know, one would have been enough."
π︎ 477
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
βThis takes me back.β
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
I quit my job as a treadmill tester.
I just felt like I wasnβt going anywhere.
π︎ 174
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Someone told me Trumps last order as president is to outlaw shredded cheese.
Hmm guess he wants to make America grate again π€
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
π︎ 375
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
My wife suggested I do lunges as an exercise to get fitter during quarantine.
That sounds ...like a big step.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
Did you know you can't use 'Beef Stew' as a password?
Apparently it's not stroganoff
π︎ 60
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing
π︎ 18
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
I just got fired from my job as a palaeontologist because I didn't recognise a female Stegosaurus.
In my defence I'd only ever dug up Tyrannosaurus Rex, so I'd never seen herbivore.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 12 2021
My daughter will have the same name as my wife
So when i call my wife for a beer, iβll have 2
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
As we drove past Ikea, my dad began one of his rants βWhy do people want Swedish furniture? The fancy closet in my bedroom was built by a good olβ fashioned local carpenter, none of this foreign import rubbish!β He was surprisingly vocal...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
Do not use βBeefstewβ as your computer password
π︎ 77
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"
"But itβs worth a shot!"
π︎ 26
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
As English my second language, pretty proud of this one.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
As I drive, I often see signs that say: "Falling Rocks"
Yeah, that's a LIE. Sometimes I even have a hard time getting up afterwards.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his βboom boxβ.
When I asked him why, he responded βI use it for all my jams!β
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Blending some fruit into a purΓ©e and said βcoolβ as I finished making it.
My wife: donβt you mean... coulis
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
π︎ 89
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
I went to a costume party dressed as a Euro. When asked what I was I told people I was new Italian currency...
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop
but when I got home, all the signs were there.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
As I handed my dad his 53rd birthday card, he said,
"You know, 1 would have been fine"
π︎ 176
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop
But when I got home all the signs were there
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
I've just quit my job as a treadmill tester...
I just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
βThis takes me back.β
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
