A punny take on the coronavirus situation using movies/tv series as puns
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︎ Apr 12 2020
Does this count as pun?
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︎ Sep 19 2019
So do you call person who's really good in pun as pun master?
Or a pundit? I think I spun it incorrectly.
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︎ Jul 23 2014
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
βThis takes me back.β
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︎ Jan 03 2021
As English my second language, pretty proud of this one.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why did the art thiefβs van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
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︎ Jan 08 2021
My son asked me if I knew any good chemistry jokes as he'd just had his first chemistry class. I thought about telling him one about alkalinity...
But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'
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︎ Jan 07 2021
My wife and I had this weird argument as to which vowel is the most important.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
I tried renting a bounce house yesterday. The cost was twice as much as last year...
Thatβs inflation for you!
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︎ Jan 08 2021
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
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︎ Sep 01 2020
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you canβt beat βem, join βem.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."
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︎ Dec 12 2020
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
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︎ Dec 18 2020
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Playing as a Monk in Dungeons & Dragons isnβt so hard.
You just have to roll with the punches and look out for number one.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
I got my son a tire pump as a Christmas gift
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︎ Jan 04 2021
As a child, my mum told me I could be whoever I wanted when I grew up...
...turns out thatβs called identity theft and is illegal.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Marine iguana's should be as legal as alcohol!
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︎ Nov 22 2020
2022 will be as bad as 2020
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Last night as I lay in bed staring at the stars I thought to myself
Where the heck is the ceiling?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
As an immune deficient person, anti vaxxers make me sick
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︎ Jan 01 2021
One day, as I was walking home, someone threw a block of cheese at my head. I thought-
βThatβs not very mature!β
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I recently got a job as an elevator operator
It has its ups and downs.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
i got this as a birthday present and thought this sub would appreciate a good music pun
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︎ Nov 29 2020
More and more people are taking up horse breading as a profession
Apparently it's a very stable career choice.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
You know you've failed as a parent....
....when you let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the table, infront of her kids.
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I walked in the shop, glimpsing my beard covered in snow as I entered
"You're a few weeks late aren't you Santa?" the girl behind the counter joked, smiling.
"Ho, ho, ho!" I fired back at her, in an uncharacteristic misogynistic outburst.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
As we were at the top of the Eiffel Tower watching a beautiful sunset, I got down on one knee and said, βHoney?β
She gasped audibly and said, βYeah?β
I said, βHelp! My knee is made of magnets!β
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︎ Jan 05 2021
My 3 yr old just cracked me up with this joke as I was putting him to bed
Why did the tree moo?
Because there was a cow stuck in it!
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︎ Dec 05 2020
I just got a new job as a guillotine operator....
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Apparently you canβt use βbeefstewβ as a pass word
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?
Because it was the time of knights.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
As a dad, I won't let my kids watch any shows on t.v. with orchestra in it....
Too much sax and violins.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient....
he said, ''I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.''
''In that case,'' said the patient, ''I'll come back when you're sober''
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︎ Dec 07 2020
As a child, I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents didn't allow it.
They said the sky is the limit.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
What will happen if your kid comes out as a trans?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Just clocked out of my job as an acupuncturist.
Iβd say I did a jab well done.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
βThis takes me back.β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way....
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
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