Make an entire Q of these.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackBleedingGray
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maelstrom197
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
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I locked my keys in the car...

So I took off my pants, rolled them up and rubbed them on the car door. The car unlocked.

I'm so glad I was wearing my khaki trousers.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RangerZA
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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Life With A Blonde Teenager

Me: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

dad: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Me: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Dad: What is a vowel?

Me: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Dad: Close enough.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dutt_deepika09
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaltsTwoCents
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Why is the word "you" rude

It's vowel language

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandi_Olfston
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
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