What do you call it when Vanna White turns a letter other than a consonant?

A vowel movement

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Due to cuts in the education budget, they've decided to simplify the alphabet, reducing it to just two vowels and one consonant...

...but don't worry, everything's going to be A-OK!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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What did the vowels say to the consonants when the consonants did them a favor?

I O U

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiggleyWafflez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Why do chickens only use consonants?

Just Bck’z

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaticulousPanda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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I ate alphabet soup with no consonants...

I went to the bathroom and had the best vowel movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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My vowels hurt.

I think they are consonants.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Letters
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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My first pun;

I am terrified of words that contain no vowels. I live in consonant fear of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marpetpat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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What's the difference between a moon rock and a earth rock?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imj23
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearsquidinshell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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I ate 15 bowls of alphabetti spaghetti yesterday

And today I've had really bad vowel movement.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Why is the word "you" rude

It's vowel language

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandi_Olfston
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
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I had 4 cans of alphabet soup this morning...

Now I'm having a huge vowel movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Dad and daughter come into the restaurant I work at. He was crackin me up the whole time.

They are looking through the menu and the dad points to the falafel appetizer.

Dad: How do you pronounce that one?

Me: Falafel?

Dad: No actually I feel great! Just a little bit hungry..

Daughter: (Face palm)

.

EDIT: falafel sort of sounds like feel awful.

.

and again..

.

Dad orders his daughter a slice of cake for dessert.

Me: (to daughter) Here's your dessert. and (to the Dad) I brought you a fork in case you wanted some too.

Dad: Thanks! I love fork! (begins to pretend to eat fork)

Daughter: (absolutely mortified face of embarrassment.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riggy60
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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Did you hear how the named Canada? Someone was pulling letters out of a hat...

"C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 973
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
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Words that sound the same backwards and forwards

I started pronouncing words backwards and forwards, with slight variation in the sounds of the consonants.

Mom....mmoM.

Dad....daaD.

Poop....pooP.

Daughter: What are you doing!? *Shriveled nose face

Dad: I'm trying to think of words that sound the same backwards and forwards. Can you think of any?

Daughter: Um, no.

Dad: I'm surprised you didn't instantly think of... Sass.

(Still would work if they come up with examples as long as they don't think of sass.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickJVenture
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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What’s in a name?

Couple consonants. Couple vowels. The usual.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_tjb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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Life With A Blonde Teenager

Me: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

dad: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Me: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Dad: What is a vowel?

Me: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Dad: Close enough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dutt_deepika09
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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man, making up puns...

...is a consonant struggle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steelyfan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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