What do you call it when Vanna White turns a letter other than a consonant?

A vowel movement

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to cuts in the education budget, they've decided to simplify the alphabet, reducing it to just two vowels and one consonant...

...but don't worry, everything's going to be A-OK!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the vowels say to the consonants when the consonants did them a favor?

I O U

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiggleyWafflez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do chickens only use consonants?

Just Bck’z

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaticulousPanda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I ate alphabet soup with no consonants...

I went to the bathroom and had the best vowel movement.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 603
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
My vowels hurt.

I think they are consonants.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Letters
πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My first pun;

I am terrified of words that contain no vowels. I live in consonant fear of them.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marpetpat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a moon rock and a earth rock?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/imj23
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
πŸ‘︎ 416
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bearsquidinshell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I ate 15 bowls of alphabetti spaghetti yesterday

And today I've had really bad vowel movement.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the word "you" rude

It's vowel language

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandi_Olfston
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
🚨︎ report
I had 4 cans of alphabet soup this morning...

Now I'm having a huge vowel movement.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad and daughter come into the restaurant I work at. He was crackin me up the whole time.

They are looking through the menu and the dad points to the falafel appetizer.

Dad: How do you pronounce that one?

Me: Falafel?

Dad: No actually I feel great! Just a little bit hungry..

Daughter: (Face palm)

.

EDIT: falafel sort of sounds like feel awful.

.

and again..

.

Dad orders his daughter a slice of cake for dessert.

Me: (to daughter) Here's your dessert. and (to the Dad) I brought you a fork in case you wanted some too.

Dad: Thanks! I love fork! (begins to pretend to eat fork)

Daughter: (absolutely mortified face of embarrassment.)

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Riggy60
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Did you hear how the named Canada? Someone was pulling letters out of a hat...

"C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 973
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Words that sound the same backwards and forwards

I started pronouncing words backwards and forwards, with slight variation in the sounds of the consonants.

Mom....mmoM.

Dad....daaD.

Poop....pooP.

Daughter: What are you doing!? *Shriveled nose face

Dad: I'm trying to think of words that sound the same backwards and forwards. Can you think of any?

Daughter: Um, no.

Dad: I'm surprised you didn't instantly think of... Sass.

(Still would work if they come up with examples as long as they don't think of sass.)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RickJVenture
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s in a name?

Couple consonants. Couple vowels. The usual.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_tjb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Life With A Blonde Teenager

Me: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

dad: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Me: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Dad: What is a vowel?

Me: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Dad: Close enough.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dutt_deepika09
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
man, making up puns...

...is a consonant struggle!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steelyfan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
🚨︎ report
Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.