A little boy ran up to me, and said "please help, my Dad is in a fight" so we went around the corner and two men were fighting each other. ok, I said, which one is your Dad..?
I dunno, he said, that's what they're fighting about...
At weekends, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park..
But it's becoming increasingly harder to find exactly 32 of them..
When should single men put on a condom?
In every conceivable situation.
Men need to stop. Just stop. If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes… She. Will. Be. Ready.
So stop reminding her every 30 minutes.
4 men were sitting in a boat, about to smoke a pack of cigarettes, when they realized they did not have something to light their cigarettes with.
So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter
Two men robbed a drugstore and stole all of the Viagra
Now they’re hardened criminals.
say what you will about gay men but most of em dress well
they really spent a long time inside the closet
Two men get on an elevator. On the way to the top floor, one farts. They stand there silently.
As they leave the elevator, the one who farted looks at the other and says “I apologize. That was wrong on so many levels.”
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?
What do you call a person who has a fear of homeless men?
Kanye West has mental issues but no one wants to say anything because they are all Ye's men.
Why can't men eat like birds?
Why can't men eat like birds?
Have YOU ever tried to eat with YOUR pecker?!
three old men were having a conversation
1st old guy: I get up at 6am everyday and go pee like a racehorse
2nd old fella : I get up at 5am everyday and take a healthy dump
3rd geriatric: I take a huge dump at 6am and a massive whizz at 6:30 am , but I dont wake up till 7am
I would make a joke about old men’s testicles…
But that’s just low hanging fruit.
What do you call a massage therapist who only works on men?
Two men walk into a bar.
You think the second one would’ve ducked.
"Yes! I love huge jacked men!"
"...No. I said, do you like Hugh Jackman."
From my resident comedian, seven year old son: How do gingerbread men make their bed?
Women mature much quicker than men..
I didn’t have breasts until I was 40.
What do you say to two blind, deaf, hypoesthesic, anosmic and ageusic men brawling in the street?
Stop this senseless fighting
What’s the difference between men and women?
Men with ED, try drinking alcohol and watching Toy Story
You will go to bed with a Buzz and wake up with a Woody
Three men on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with
So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
What do you call a Nordic Snowman who likes both men and women?
There's not really any training for garbage men...
They just pick things up as they go
What did the wise men say after offering up there gifts of Gold and Frankincense?
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should already be opened when she hands it to him.
Whenever I go to put my earbuds in and play my favorite Men at Work album, somebody always interrupts.
The young lady next door is dating two men, a dairy farmer, and a poet. . .
Problem is she’s having trouble deciding
If she should marry for butter or for verse
Two men are doing a crossword puzzle
One says to the other. “Four letters, old Macdonald had one?”
“Farm!” The second man says
“Great! How do spell it?” He asks
“EIEIO”
if I ever open a wig shop for men, I'm calling it
What type of doctor treats transgender men?
if it's called morning wood for men then what is it for women..
My wife claims that men in camouflage look really sexy.
ah yes, men’s underwear, or as i like to call them
What do you call men in line for a haircut?
Two men walked into a bar
What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense ?
Three Wise Men Infomercial: "But wait..."
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
Two men walk in to a bar.
You’d think the second one would have ducked 🤷🏼♂️
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