Burning Wood

So my friend was burning off yard trash (controlled burn...put away your pitchforks reddit) from the lot he recently had cleared during the day. I show up at his place in the evening and we go outside to see how much debris was left. He pokes some of it with a stick and hears a hard glass sound and says, "What the heck is that?!" I lean down to look at it and reply, "I think it's petrified wood....but I have no idea what scared it." He rolled his eyes, and his 16 year old daughter laughed her ass off.

👍︎ 23
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📅︎ May 23 2014
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What Happens When You Burn Unseasoned Wood From the Bayou?

Creole-sote

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📅︎ Jan 22 2020
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Stripper takes it all off on one nightstand v.redd.it/ojpcdjwhjqp01
👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Apr 03 2018
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How to catch an elephant:

1 - Dig a huge hole, big enough for an elephant.

2 - Light a giant wood fire in the hole and let it burn out completely.

3 - Set peanuts out around the edge of the hole as bait.

4 - When an elephant starts eating the bait, quickly run up behind him and kick him in the ash hole!

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📅︎ Sep 03 2019
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Tool tips

I was doing some wood-burning/pyrography this evening, and my husband was taking a look at the tool I use...

Him: ..So you've got different tips for that?

Me: Yep! The first one is don't touch the hot part.

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📅︎ Sep 06 2016
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My dad friend on heating his house

My friend, who is a dad, heats his house with only a wood burning stove. When remarking on it, he says, "Yep, the whole house is solar powered!"

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👤︎ u/ivarwaters
📅︎ Dec 17 2013
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Spending lots of time with my dad cleaning up around my new farm house...

We've been burning a lot of junk wood and had a huge pile of ashes. (Works better when you imagine it spoken out loud)

Me: What am I supposed to do with all these ashes?

Dad: Use them to catch a bear!

Me: what?

Dad: Well, you dig a big hole and put all the ashes in the bottom. Then you line the hole with peas. When the bear reaches for the peas, you kick him in the ash hole!

I told him his dad jokes are getting better.

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📅︎ Oct 26 2014
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