Dino-SARS
Pretty sure it’s Monday
I know he meant well
So he became 90
His response: “Thanks son. I couldn’t have done it without you!”
Happy Father’s Day!!
After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.
I said, I have indoor plumbing
I’m very flattered, but make sure you wish your own dad a happy Father’s Day too.
My wife immediately screamed at me "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO HER!?"
I replied, "You were sad how big she was getting, so I was trying to belittle her."
Then everyone would lav en dar'd be fun all around
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
Does that make a fart a nightmare of the stomach?
It sucks
Me: “I don’t know, I wasn’t listening”
Pine
A genie-ologist.
but I’m knot
Taken from fb
It's just water under the fridge.
...but then my life would be meetingless.
Hindsight is 2020
It was his vinyl request.
It was a real groundbreaking invention
I would be a malty millionaire by now.
Then he could be named Broda.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
So we could call them Breakfast Epiphanies
It was a gloomy day for a funeral. The widow weeped quietly in the front row. A distinguished gentleman approached her and said "Ma'am, I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you mind if I said a word?" "Please do", she replied. He stands, straightens his tie, and says "Plethora." Then he sits down. "Thank you," she said.
"That means a lot."
The ones I know are too crappie.
That’s a lot of pressure.
So I could have twice as many dad jokes.
Everything it wished for, it wasn't knotty.
He wished he'd never been Bjorn!
but it's growing on me.
He wishes he was a millionaire, too.
Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”
“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.
“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.
“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.
A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”
“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.
Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”
“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”
“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.
And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”
Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.
The mailman responded with, "And a good afternoon to you, Femalewoman!"
I said "Thanks! I couldn't have done it without you!"
Steve: "I wish I was rich."
Genie: "What’s your second wish, Rich?"
That’s a lot of pressure.
That’s a lot of pressure.
