Which hand do you wipe with?
'Cause, I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper.
What type of math equation do you need to do to wipe your butt?
Multi-ply
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
What do Scottish people use to wipe after using the bathroom?
Kilted Northern
A man has to poop and has no toilet paper his friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back with poop on his fingers...." Why is there poop on your fingers"
" it's hard to wipe with 3 quarters 2 dimes and a nickel"
You can always tell how good a dad is, by how many baby wipes they use
3 wipes: rookie dad, hasn't figured it out yet
2 wipes: getting there, but still a noob
1 wipe: master dad
0 wipes: not a very good dad.
An avalanche has started on Mount Everest that threatens to wipe out 20% of its surrounding area.
This is snow joke.
How do blind people wipe their butts?
With toilet paper, like everyone else!
The question was: "How do people with extremely long fake nails properly wipe their butts after pooping? Saw someone struggling to type on their phone today with those bad boys"
I never understood baby wipes
Why are they called Baby Wipes if it’s your job to wipe the baby?
My colleague invented a machine that would steal other people’s ideas, and wipe them off the subject’s memory.
Why didn’t I think of that?
I always wipe my mouth before I lie down.
I'm nap-kin.
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks
What do you call it when you wipe your derrier with a Sham Wow?
Shampoo
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
What hand do you wipe with?
Ugghhhh I use toilet paper.
