I always win arguments with my wife
She always falls for debate
My wife and I have contests to see who can scream “NO!” louder, but she always wins.
I found a joke contest the other day and really wanted to win so I submitted 10 of my best puns.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did
I've entered a competition to win the entire ABBA back catalogue.
There's no second prize....
The Winner Takes It All.
I recently entered ten puns into a joke competition hoping I would win with at least one of them.
Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
Why do people from Norway always win against Englishpeople in tear-shedding contests?
Because crying is gråter in Norwegian.
How did the Polish win at the athletics meet?
The stole the Poland ran away.
I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...
Always trying to get the symphony vote.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
because he was out standing in his field
You know why gay people can't win poker?
Cause they can't keep a straight face.
If I ever win a big monetary prize or inheritance, I'll change my last name to Bates.
My butler won't be amused though.
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
What do you call a cat who walks funny but can win any fight?
Why did the barber win the race?
What do you call it when one owl samurai wins a fight with another owl samurai?
How did Landon Calrissian win the Millennium Falcon while playing Wheel of Fortune?
me when I win an argument
Who was the 1st person to win the Nobel Prize?
Same person who invented the Door Knock...
How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
My son was lamenting that he couldn't remember what the Ukrainian watercourse Uchan-su is and didn't win a prize...
I replied, "oh, Crimea river!"
Who ever stops the extended warranty calls should win a prize.
I'm calling it The No-Bell Peace Prize.
Idc if you steal this I just thought of it while making lunch and I got another one of them.
Why did the ghost soccer team win all their games?
They were amazing at possessing the ball.
*My son's joke. I'm so proud.
You know why locomotive always win with the car?
Because all they do is training
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
My friend entered a contest to win a trip to a city on the French Riviera. He didn't win...
Who always wins at the army quiz nights?
Why do British chess players always win?
Because their queen never dies
What happens if a cat wins a dog competition during a tornado?
How does a vegetable win a fight ?
A man's son entered a raffle to win the deed to an entire shopping plaza.
The son's ticket number wasn't the one picked to win. Despondently, the son told the results to his dad. In an effort to console him, his dad replied..."Well, sorry son, but you can't win the mall."
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
I was really moved when I realized my mother let me win at cards.
It meant a great deal to me.
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
Why can’t Satan’s cheerleading squad win any competitions?
Because they have literally no chants in Hell.
A son tells his Dad he wants to win the limbo contest at his school...
His dad says, "That's a pretty low bar."
Why did the snowman win an award?
He was out standing in his field.
I entered 10 puns in a joke contest. I figured one of them would win...
I sent 10 puns to a pun contest, hoping one would win
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field
A woman entered an online pun contest. She submitted ten different puns in the hope that at least one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
What do you call a chess club bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chessnuts boasting in an open foyer
Why did the scarecrow win so many awards?
Because was out standing in his field.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field
"Why did the scarecrow win an award?"
"Because he was outstanding in his field."
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
He was out standing in his field.
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