Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
When I was born, I only weighed 33.8 ounces...
Doctor said I was a natural born liter
I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed more than a ton.
I thought a laser would be light.
How did mary and Joseph know that jesus weighed 7 pounds and six ounces
They had a weigh in a manger
I told my dad today "I'm going on a diet, I just weighed myself I nearly fell of the scale when I saw what I weighed!"
He said, "That sounds a balance problem and not a weight problem."
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Where is a good place to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow
Today morning when I stood on the weighing scale it didn't move at all
My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.
It’s a small scale operation.
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
My wife weighs exactly 300.00 lb.
Where do you go to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
(sing it, and you’ll get it)
How much do dumplings weigh?
How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh ?
My sword doesn't weigh much.
Cant weigh to see their face
How much did the soup weigh?
What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
What is very big but doesn't weigh anything?
The shadow of an elephant
Which weighs more, a hippo or a Zippo?
Well yes, the hippo weighs more. But the Zippo is just a little lighter.
How can you tell how much a reptile weighs?
Dad: What weighs more? A gallon of water or a gallon of butane? Son: they both weigh the same.
Dad: wrong. Water is a fluid and butane is a lighter fluid!
Edit: credit to u/Kelly240361
How much does Jack from the Tim Burton movie weigh?
My infant son is a bit constipated. My wife was like "I want to weigh him today" and I said that's not a good idea. She asked why...
Because he is full of shit.
She responded "you shouldn't say that"
I responded "what he just lies all day."
Real convo
How much does a nursing home weigh?
How much do all your bones weigh?
What house weighs the least?
What’s green and doesn’t weigh much?
What is blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
Edit : Thanks for the silver and gold
Edit 2 : Wow that blue up
Edit 3 : I never type "thanks for the ..." line, but since silver is also a colour, I did.
What unit of measurement do you use to weigh your linens?
How much do huge dinosaur bones weigh?
I don't know, but surely a skeleton
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Today I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram....
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?
Where do you weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow...
What weighs more; a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
The water weighs more. Butane is the lighter fluid.
Where do you go to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie.
Which weighs more, a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.
What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?
My friend and I started a business where we weigh microscopic objects.
It’s a small scale operation.
Which weighs more a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
Water because butane is lighter fluid
Why does butane weigh less than water
Because it’s a lighter fluid
How much do dumplings weigh?
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Where do you go to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
I just started a business where we specialize in weighing tiny objects.
It’s a small scale operation.
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
Which weighs more, a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers?
The feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
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