I just started a business where we specialize in weighing tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
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︎ Feb 17 2020
Today morning when I stood on the weighing scale it didn't move at all
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Weighing elephants is ..
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︎ May 29 2020
Why should you eat your meals from a weighing scale?
So you can have a balanced diet.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
It's literally a weighing machine
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︎ Oct 09 2019
My job is making sure that the cow weighing scales are accurate
You could say my position is tare-a-bull
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︎ Feb 21 2019
After weighing myself...
Full disclosure, I'm just a guy in his mid-20s - not a dad, though with my cheesy sense of humor I may as well be. Wanted to share one of my prouder examples of that today.
Anyways, a couple friends and I were visiting another friend out of town, and we'd been eating quite a bit on our trip (and not the healthiest stuff either). I randomly decided to weigh myself and found that I was 158 lbs, which was a bit alarming because I had just been around 150 a week or two prior.
Came downstairs and the topic of how much we'd been eating came up. I mentioned my weight of 158, and one of my friends went "Damn, how did that happen?" And I swear to god, without even thinking, this just came out:
"Well I was 150... and then I eight."
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︎ Jun 07 2016
Why are fish so easy to weigh
Because they come with there own scales
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︎ May 12 2021
If you want to weigh a whale you take it to a whale weigh station. So where do you go if you want to weigh a pie?
Somewheeere over the rainbow...
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︎ Mar 30 2021
What weighs more 10 pounds of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers?
Feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds
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︎ Apr 22 2021
How much does a dumpling weigh?
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︎ May 11 2021
How much does Dwayne Johnson weigh?
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︎ May 05 2021
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I had to weigh my options
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︎ Mar 12 2021
How much did a single pyramid stone weigh?
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︎ May 14 2021
I was wondering who weighed more, cows or horses
Sure, the horse is bigger, but the cow looks BEEFY
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︎ May 03 2021
βMom,β I asked curiously, βhow much do you weigh?β
βTread lightly,β my father warned, βbecause your mother canβt.β
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Where do you weigh whales?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
At a whale-weigh station.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
How much does a hipster weigh?
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︎ Feb 27 2021
Where would you weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Where's the best place to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow. It even says in the song, "Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie"...
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︎ Mar 19 2021
The urge to sing βThe Lion Sleeps Tonightβ is always just a whim away...
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Fishes are pretty easy to weigh
They have their own scales
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Cant weigh to see their face
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︎ Apr 21 2020
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10.β
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Did you hear about the party held for devices used to weigh tractor trailers' loads?
It was a large scale celebration.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
What does a 7ft tall butcher weigh?
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What is as big as a hippopotamus but weighs nothing at all?
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Where do you go to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
(sing it, and youβll get it)
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︎ Nov 14 2020
My sword doesn't weigh much.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
What is blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
Edit : Thanks for the silver and gold
Edit 2 : Wow that blue up
Edit 3 : I never type "thanks for the ..." line, but since silver is also a colour, I did.
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Dad: What weighs more? A gallon of water or a gallon of butane? Son: they both weigh the same.
Dad: wrong. Water is a fluid and butane is a lighter fluid!
Edit: credit to u/Kelly240361
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they come with their own scales.
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︎ May 15 2021
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
They come with their own scales
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︎ May 03 2021
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
They come with their own scales.
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︎ May 17 2021
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
How much do dumplings weigh?
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︎ May 30 2020
Today I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Which weighs more, a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Mar 20 2020
What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?
π︎ 9k
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︎ Apr 13 2020
Where is a good place to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Where do you weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow...
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︎ Nov 21 2020
What weighs more; a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
The water weighs more. Butane is the lighter fluid.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
π︎ 7k
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︎ Dec 15 2019
What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
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