Flours
Collie Flowers.
They're very scentimental
me: well no, its got nitrogen, oxygen and a spot of COVID
I told her I wasn't planning on spending that much.
Mine went from Mounds of Joy to Herpes Kisses.
February 14th.
You're purr-fect for me!
Told them to have a rootin' tootin' Valentine's day.
She stayed down a lot longer than they do in the WWE
A love child
And he reached my voicemail
Don't understand why, she'd always told me it's little things that count?
I know my wife loves a boo-K.
I'm thinking Feb 14th
Current Resident
It’s the little things that count.
I spent Valentine's Day eating my meat.
Lol, on last year's Valentine's day my best friend had got mad at me for not asking my crush out.
We'd planned on going to McDonald's together because he didn't have a date either. When I arrived at McDonald's this f*cker was holding a cardboard box with a terrified look and when he saw me he immediately gave me the box and told me he'd already bought the food and that we better take the bus to my place. I just thought he probably was joking or something because the box didn't even have any kind of decoration, it even had a chips brand printed on it, but as we got to the bus and sat I felt something moving inside, I thought maybe it was a puppy or something, but why did he look scared of it?
So, we get to my house, I go to my backyard, where my then 7yo beagle was and I open the box. I could only see a black blur flying out of it and then heard my best friend scream. It was a rooster. He's terrified of birds. And weirdest of all it was a fully grown rooster but he was super tiny, like 10 inches tall tiny.
I asked him wtf was going on and he just kinda hid behind the backyard door and said "I bought it so that you could get some cock tonight". I always make puns and he hates them, I was speechless. So long story short I now own 6 chickens and 4 roosters (my mom got super mad at him for buying the rooster, but then she got super attached and bought him a chicken, when she laid eggs she let them hatch, the rooster's name is Enrique btw, my mom even made him a birthday party and all last week, lol)
February 14
February 14th.
(it's 11:26 PM where I am so it's still Valentine's Day for me)
because there should be something for those who don't get the V or the D
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
But it looks like I missed my date
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers
She says she loves being carded.
I find it to be a bit cheesy
Oops, sorry. In. Undated.
... but by the time I made it to the break room, the sausage rolls were gone.
I stood there, looking at the donuts, lamenting the missed opportunity of the sausage rolls.
Another coworker overheard me, stating "Well maybe it's a good thing, ya know, maybe you're watching your weight?"
I picked up a chocolate frosted donut and took a bite. I turned to her and replied, "Yes, I am watching my weight."
"But shouldn't you not -"
"I'm watching my weight go up."
She said we "barely make a good pear". The nerve!
's mitten.
All the lion cheetahs.
Oops e-daisies.
It's the 14th of february
