Using puns in your marketing campaign?
Never try to prove a point using puns.
You are committing the logical fallacy of argument ad homonym.
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
A White House Staffer Almost Walked in on Press Secretary Jen Psaki using the restroom.
I saw a news report recently about how a certain thick, white, egg based condiment is secretly being manufactured using horse meat.
The FDA says to listen carefully when you open the jar because the tainted mayo neighs.
Why was the barrel of petroleum always using foul language?
- a) Because it was crude oil
- b) Because it wasn't refined
- c) Because it was a real gas
- d) Because it wasn't reserved
- e) Because it liked to say, "What the shale?"
f) Because it was kerobsene
Mt oldest is getting to be pretty good at using my own jokes against me when I'm not expecting.
Kid: Hey dad, look at that! (Points with his finger to something off in the distance.)
Me: (Looking in direction he's pointing) What? Where? I don't see anything.
Kid: (Still pointing) Right there, look, you see it?
Me: (Still looking, getting annoyed that I don't see it) WHAT? What is it??
Kid: (Holding up the same finger) It's my finger!
I have been doing this to him recently and it always gets him. I love that he's able to totally get me with it now.
Edit: MY oldest, not Mt oldest. Not sure what the oldest mountain is, but it probably isn't as funny as my oldest kid is becoming.
I solved a mathematical equation using a kitchen utensil today
It was a calculated whisk.
I hear that they’re making the skunkiest beer of all time by using real skunk spray.
They’re calling it an I.P.U.
I can tie my shoe laces just by using the power of my mind.
I bet you don't believe me...
I thought knot.
The government is using chemicals to control the people.
But not me; I'm a free radical.
What body part do you spell using the letters P, E, N, I, and S?
What do you call a nut using the restroom?
Wife: Dad, stop using the name Peter in the place of Penis. One day the kids will meet a kid named Peter.
Me (husband): I agree. This should be kept private.
Wife: groan...
"Son, I heard you got punished for using the 'F ' word in class. That wasn't fun was it ?"
I’ve just been charged for using sandpaper to kill my victim.
I only wanted to rough him up a bit.
Did you know that Olive branch is a symbol of peace. People were using olive branch during the history to declare truce by giving it to their enemies
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
Using one word, how do you get Doc Brown into his time machine?
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
Make two rectangles out of a diamond using one line
This was a problem on my step sons homework. No matter what, he couldn't seem to grasp it. So, I grabbed some post-it notes, turned it to a diamond and said "this is a diamond correct?" he says yes. I then turn the post-it notes a few degrees and say "this is a square correct?" And he instantly got what he had to do. I then threw out this, grade "A" knee slapper of a line "Diamonds are just crooked squares, you can't trust'em".
I think I'm gonna put on my jorts and tube socks now.
I've been using my new U2 navigation system this week and it's the worst...
The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
True Story: tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I saw another coworker using the mayonnaise with my name on it from the fridge in the break room.
I said to him, “What the Hellman?”
You should never use the plural of a word when you should be using the singular
Never make love to a thin piece of wood without using protection.
If you forget, you might get a veneereal disease.
The best part of writing a book using only a Ouija board is getting all the credit.
Because it was written by a ghost writer
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
Playing rainbow six using Calculator as a controller
Why did we stop using Guillotines?
People kept losing their heads.
What do you call a crime committed using a Su-57?
I've just finished writing a book about using stairs...
It's a step by step guide.
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym
It was the vending machine
My friend claims that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.
I have had a Canon printer for years.
Why do criminals love using cows at their lookouts?
They are great at spotting moo-vement
What's everyone been using to scrape ice off their cars? I have been using a discount card.
Only been getting 25% off.
I ran out of toilet paper last week and can't afford to buy more till I get paid next week, so I started using the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in......
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."
Try this :
I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.
There is a cult where they don’t believe in using coins.
Sounds like a bunch of non-cents!
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
In the Seine-et-Marne region of France you can bail yourself out of prison using cheese
It's called playing the 'Get out of jail Brie card'
What would happen if America switched from using pounds to kilograms as a unit a measure?
I never tried using a gun ever before...
I'm planning to give it a shot, though.
So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.
That would be something, now wooden tit?
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Using my telescope, I could barely make out the British coin worth one fourth of a penny after I launched it into the upper atmosphere...
I asked my wife is she was using the ps3 charging cable
She said it was CURRENT-ly available.
I laughed my ass off. She didn’t get it. I explained. Got a dirty look.
.... worth it.
"Son !!! I heard you got punished for using the 'F' word in class. That wasn't fun, was it ?"
I've run out of toilet paper and started using old newspapers instead
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