Ted Pundy
The punisher.
Me: Let me see your fan.
Friend: *shows me fan*
Me: I'm much bigger than that. Some might even say your biggest...
Friend: I need you to leave.
You are committing the logical fallacy of argument ad homonym.
He cows his enemies with bad jokes.
Hello! I have to make a presentation about how to avoid a shark attack for a final project in my english class. I suck at making titles, but can anyone come up with a clever one using puns?
Hi punterific people!
I'm a YouTuber that loves puns and use puns regularly in my videos when I play games. I'm having some new graphics donr for my channel and I want to change my 'saying' to reflect the punny part of... Well.. Me :)
The new art depicts my avatar (Game kNight) weilding a shield and a flail - and I want the saying to reflect something in that regard. I persistently play games to win (as if anyone did otherwise) and don't like failing (like most other gamers?);
Thoughts up until now: Flailure is not an option - for me! (but for the enemies I face is implied) Flailing is an option (because facing me will get you flailed) I will not flail you!
Hope you can help me out!
I still have flashbacks
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
Lovely man, terrible delivery driver
Times New Ramen
Just to make me sound more photosynthesis
Imprisonmint.
Because semi-colons don't complete a sentence!
It was in good shape having only been dropped twice in surrender.
It sounds much better now that I use my hands
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
[removed]
They said it was grounds for termination.
Inflation
He smelled funny the whole day.
Imprisonmint.
It was a bad Hobbit.
because you can't open windows in space.
The surgery went well, he is just a little cockeyed now.
I told her I’d look into it.
Nostalgia.
I guess I have to keep holding it.
Colloquialism.
The Times are rough.
The P was silent.
Paddy O’furniture
I'm feeling like such a good boy.
She said:
I'm mature
I'm moral
I'm polite
And, by and large, I'm perfect
Don't know why she then accused me of having "a fundamental incapability to understand the proper use of apostrophes and spacing" though....
But that’s just my two scents.
It's pointless.
Smelt funny the whole day.
