Why did the Indian yeast have low self esteem?

His whole life he’s been a naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim_breeding
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Coffee beans must have the lowest self-esteem...

They’re always getting roasted!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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If God had low self esteem, would that make him an atheist?

Because he doesn’t believe in himself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sBroz410
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Her self esteem is like the root of minus one: imaginary
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icanpretendtoo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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How do you know when your house has low self-esteem?

It settles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeontheJob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who broke up and had very low self-esteem ever since?

He had a rejectile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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I joined a cult that doesn't let us have high self esteem

I can't believe how good I feel

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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A friend has been going to a seminar on building self esteem

I never knew buildings thought so highly of themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Why did the lassoo have low self esteem?

It was bull lead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Why did the letter B with low self-esteem start eating a lot?

He saw the Buff A

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
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Hydrogen has a very low self esteem.

He always gets refused in the sun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoMoreDays
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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If jesus had low self-esteem....

Would it be considered blasphemy since he didn't believe in himself?

(Thanks Bloodhound Gang)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snpn2slmjim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad lowering my self esteem

I was at church with my father who is the pastor, so lots of people come up to him weekly. I went to go say hi to him after church, and an older lady by the name of Bertha comes up to us and introduces herself. After I tell her my name, she asks me if I play football. I shake my head and give her a puzzled look and she says, "oh well you have a strong looking body". Of course I get rather excited about this and say, "dad did you hear that, she thinks I play football?" He responds with, "son, we've been praying for Ms. Bertha's eyesight for a long time now"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullsonparade92
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of train is β€œThe Little Engine that Could”?

A self esteem engine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwiftFoxRaps
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Posting on Reddit is like dating in college.

Occasionally you get lucky, but most of the time it’s terrible for your self esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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