- (1) This study uses self-affirmation theory to draw predictions about the effect of Facebook profile self-presentation on two psychological outcomes: users' state self-esteem and their performance in a cognitive task.
In an experimental procedure, participants were randomly assigned to examine either their own profiles, which tend to highlight social connectedness and treasured aspects of the self, or a stranger's profile. Afterward, participants reported their self-esteem using an implicit measure that is immune to reporting biases, and completed a serial subtraction task.
Results show that a brief exposure to one's own profile raised state self-esteem, but that it hampered performance in a subsequent cognitive task by decreasing the motivation to perform well. The results advance the emerging literature on the effects of online self-presentation and also provide a theoretical contribution to self-affirmation (Link) to Media Psychology journal
- (2) 'Facebook Home could change our brains' Leading neuroscientist Susan Greenfield says Facebook's new phone and app encourage us to live in the moment. That could change our brains, she claims. (Link) to Article on The Telegraph.
I'm listening, Kings.
Edit: I've been trying my best to respond to everyone, but unfortunately it appears that far more of us are struggling than we'd like to admit. But I'm reading every one of your comments. None of you are going unheard, I promise.
I'm at work and call me vain, but I am beaming right now! ✨🤭
Coworkers: Why are you taking Monday and Tuesday off next week? 🤔
Me: Oh, well Tuesday is my birthday. So I asked the boss if I can have a long weekend to celebrate. 🎂☺️
Coworkers: Congratulations! How old are you gonna be, 21?
Me: 😳🤭 uh... Guess again.
Coworkers: 25? No? 27? What, even more??? Okay uh, 31??
Me: I'm gonna be 34. I was born in 1988.
Coworkers: 🤯🤯🤯 Wtf?! That's not possible! You are lying, that's... What the fuck??
And I have been feeling self conscious about having my first wrinkles starting to show etc. 😅
So yeah, not having kids keeps you young I suppose! 🤭 (21? Wtf?)
It’s become pretty clear to me recently that I need to work on my self-esteem but don’t know how to.
I have observed myself having this feeling of, " I am really enough, and capable of achieving anything I set out to" since the past few months and this made me feel that maybe I am actually becoming a confident person finally. Also, with my own money, I was willing to take up a reliable course on building confidence, and there was a checklist of symptoms of low confidence given on that website. I felt that I don't have any of the symptoms listed down there and decided to not enroll in the course - and it was a well thought-out decision.
But, since then, I have seen that sometimes I put myself down, and sometimes I compare myself to others too. Sometimes, I really show having symptoms of low self-confidence. But, it's just sometimes. And all that has made me wonder about one question -- Is a place of high self-confidence/self-esteem one where you are permanently at that place and never compare youself to anyone/do anything else that comes under low self-esteem? Can someone enlighten me about this?
So quick background, I (34M) am heavy on the dating scene after a few years off. I'd say im not a bad looking guy and date a LOT.
I'm finding though, the problem is, this convenience culture we now live in is killing my self-esteem.
The ghosting, the no-replies, the lack of communication. All things that seem to be normal in todays dating culture are really starting to get to me and really triggering my anxiety.
I remember dating in my early 20s and it wasn't like this. If you stopped talking, there was an explanation, there was no such thing as ghosting, and people apologised if they left you on read for a day.
I have dated and seen a few people, that usually ends in a "no texting each other" check-mate.
I once met a girl a few times, went on a few dates and I REALLY liked her. We talked about future plans etc... After one date, gone, ghosted, no response to messages, nothing. Leaving me sitting there, as always, wondering what is wrong with me.
I am not bad looking, i am interesting, i have a good job, my own place, etc. I have a lot going for me yet I feel like shit about myself because I keep swinging and missing, with no "why" at the end.
Is this just me? Am i just having a bad time at the moment? Or do others feel this way too?
EDIT FOR UPDATE———
Thank you ALL for your replies. My intention was to post this to see that I was not alone in this, and I got what I wanted, and seemed to help some people along the way.
Thanks for the insights, as ever, Reddit has provided an around-the-globe perspective.
I’ve replied and liked as much as I can. I’m grateful for every bit of feedback.
My takeaway is that I think I need to go away, work with my therapist a bit more and come back from a position of mental strength, taking things less personally and just realising that this process is part of life. The doing will be harder than the saying, but we move.
Thank all of y’all for the input though…. Even if I did get judged to shit at one point for sometimes dating early 20- somethings 😏
How did you increased your self esteem ?
In title
UPDATE : I'm overwhelmed with all the responses thanks so much to all. I love you.
This feeling has made itself far too prominent in my dating life, of late. I’ve (31F) been fairly active on Hinge and have had the opportunities to actually get out there and meet some men for very casual dates. Nothing special, just your standard coffee/dinner meetups. In fact, I had one last night that I thought had went very well and low key. I had a nice time! But not only was the ending, or parting of ways, kind of weird, but I text him this morning about a band we discussed last night, and he never responded.
Now, before you state that I shouldn’t be on my head so much, this guy revealed his texting style to me right away. And it was on the fast response side. So to not drag this out, I’m going to take this one as a big ol’ NO, on his side. Which is fine, but a bit of a bummer because he seemed like a cool kat that I would have liked to get to know more.
Anyway, as I sit here thinking, I’m stating to slide into the more negative side of modern dating. Of “what am I doing wrong?” or “Maybe there really is something wrong with me” and “you nights as well give up. If you haven’t found SOMEONE who is into you By this age, it’s just not going to happen”. You know, the common questions and thought patterns that arise. My parents are no help in this also, as they constantly hound me wanting to know if I’m dating, if I’m seeing anyone and asking me why it didn’t work out, as if I knew the answer to that. They also are convinced I’m picky/shallow, because forget about finding a partner that I actually like spending time with, I should just be stoked that someone is interested in me in the first place. So I try to not keep them in the loop so much.
To get back to the topic: does anyone else go through phases of insecurity in dating when you’re fighting through a constant loop of prospect and failure? The easy answer could be to take a break, focus on myself even more than I’m already doing. But then the caveat being that in doing so, I could be passing up opportunities of meeting someone. There are people out there who are magnetic in romance, and have a much easier tome finding romantic bonds. However, the rest have to really work at it, and in doing so, still don’t have much luck. I am in that group.
Alright, 30 somethings, let me hear what you have to share.
Hi.
As the title says, I'm interested in hearing about your stories on how you overcame self-esteem issues, the more practical the better.
One of the reasons I'm writing this post is that I found myself comparing myself to other men all the time, and it just crushes my fragile self-confidence. I'm fully aware that comparison is the thief of joy, but I feel like I'm missing some steps between rationally knowing this, and emotionally applying it throughout my life.
It doesn't help that I'm in the gay scene where it is mainly about looks and sizes, and I'm on a very good day (with good lighting) an almost-ok-looking short guy in his late 20s. I know some of the previous partners of the guys I've been with, and it makes my heart sink when I see how much of a downgrade I am compared to them. It's a like a composite feeling made up of inadequacy, insecurity and anxiety.
I'm curious to read about your experiences.
Cheers
