Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
That way you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth
Then it becomes a soap opera
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
I enjoyed hiking up mountains, until I arrived at the top.
From there, it's all downhill.
Wife: I’m exhausted. I was up until 4 AM with the baby.
Me: It’s probably not a good idea to keep a baby up that late.
How do you keep water in a hole in the ground until you need it?
362 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up...
Not long until you get RAM’d
Used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
What is president elect Joseph Robinette Biden going to do until January 20th?
A man is incomplete until he’s married.
Don’t knock it until you diet
Apparently until the age of 10 ,
Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall
Everything was fine until I got a universal remote
I used to think employers valued their workers, until yesterday when I worked a full day, but only got paid twenty cents. I see my boss entirely differently now after that.
It was a real paradigm shift.
I pestered my wife all evening with nonstop corny wordplay jokes until I got “the look”...
I may have encountered some punintended consequences.
A Catholic priest will always be a Catholic until he goes on a pilgrimage....
...then He becomes a Roamin' Catholic
With on 75 days until Biden takes oath...
We'll have a lame Donald Duck period.
This guy just approached me and won’t leave me alone until I solve a trigonometry problem.
I don’t know what his angle is.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I can’t wait until hindsight....
My job interview for the Navy was going well, until they asked if I could swim
To be honest, I thought they’d have boats.
These days everyone seems to be going for progressiveness until it comes to something they really care about.
& hence I don't care 'bout anything.
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
Just wait until you aunt marries Robert,
I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159.
I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup to the roof of my car
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting
/r/Jokes/comments/iya4l4/…
I can't wait until the pandemic is over, and I can see the pun-based show my local theater troupe has been rehearsing.
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...
"Don’t wok away from me!"
During my first month on the road paving crew, they always gave me all the worst jobs. I endured all of it, up until they put me on paint duty...
...that's where I finally had to draw the line.
Wait until he hears about the doors.
So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...
"I'm measuring your patience!"
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
I didn't appreciate reincarnation until I got hit by that truck...
And woke up feeling like a whole new man
Just wait until you hit the drop
I was having a good day until I stopped to pet a duck in the park....
Now I'm feeling a little down.
I was a heavy drinker until I went to AA meetings
Well, now I am still a drinker but at least I lost some weight
I recently received a book with “do not read until the year 2030” written on the cover
But that’s a story for another time
I’ve always followed in my father’s footsteps until today.
He turned around and said, “STOP!”
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
Some guy just approached me and refused to leave until I solve a trigonometry problem.
I have no idea what his angle is.
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