I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a baseball bat.

I said, β€œOi, what’s your game?”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women...

He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front

πŸ‘︎ 249
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?

Because it's rough.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call wet swim trunks?

Swam trunks

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nobodahobo66
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?

A traveling mouse.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plain-Zebra
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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When is a trunk not a trunk?

When it's ajar!!!

I know, I know...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JfreakingR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do the cops keep water in the trunk?

So that their siren does not die

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vald1412
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I’ve got a spare in the trunk
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecasualcaribou
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?

A mouse going on a vacation

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeY0-o
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
When my British friend goes out in the wilderness, he sleeps in his car trunk...

He calls it boot camp.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Nice new car son.. What's that thing on the trunk?
πŸ‘︎ 431
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tobias_drundridge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandpa always kept a trunk full of sketches by famous artists...

It was a chest of drawers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A boy complains to his father: 'You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!'

Father: 'Really, what?'

Boy: 'That the potato should go in the front.'

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Namirred
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend if he knew a pachyderm famous for its trunk. He suggested Dumbo.

But that was Ear-Elephant.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A tree trunk impaled my computer

Now I can't log in

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g0t__em
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're buying a car for your elephant, make sure it has plenty of trunk space.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theinfinitejaguar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What is grey, has a tail and a large trunk?

A mouse going on a holiday.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Tree trunk
πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ptbsbll
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
🚨︎ report
I once saw an elephant at the zoo named Trunk

I thought that was a little on the nose.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arewehavingfun
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Why should you keep a pin and a bowling ball in the trunk of your car?

To make sure you always have a spare.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rezanator11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
There is ivy growing up the trunk of a tree at my house. I don't really want to do anything about it though.

It could really use some devine intervention.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeprosyDick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Last night, I couldn't find my normal pajamas, so I put on swim trunks.

My wife asked, "why are you wearing swim trunks right now?"

Because, I'm about to dive into bed!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockbandit
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Mom says old trunk smells like mothballs.

Dad: Have you ever seen mothballs?

Mom: Yes.

Dad: Was it hard to holding the moth down so you could spread apart his little legs?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibpenquin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
🚨︎ report
What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?

A mouse going on vacation.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What is grey, has 4 legs and a trunk?

A mouse on holiday

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
POTATOES IN TRUNKS

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Black_Mutant
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report

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