I'm trying to come up with a good tree pun
I wood like to say a tree pun,
but I am going to branch off to different jokes and leaf you alone.
My dad told me to stop making tree puns.
But he's not the balsa me.
So I’m trying to work on tree puns
I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
I used to hear alot of tree puns
Most of them were all bark and no bite, even though they branched out to more deep rooted subjects. Some of the saps had to leave usually. Everyone was oakay in the end though, it left some of us feeling fruity. I was asked how the others were affected, but i told them i wooden know. I bought a wooden tv shortly after but everything was payperview.
My birtch of a wife just told me she wants a divorce.
She said she’s tired of all of my tree puns.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in. My 7yr old daughter just told me this, so proud!
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're really good at it!
Dad: Why did the elephant climb the maple tree?
Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).
Dad: To eat some cherries.
Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.
Dad: He brought his own.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Scientists have realised that trees have a way of communicating with each other...
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
So I brought a tree home for Christmas
My son saw the huge tree and asked, "Are you going to put i up yourself?"
I replied, "No son I'm going to put it up in the living room."
Dad: I really don’t trust these trees
Son: Huh? What? Why?
Dad: They seem kinda…. shady
Why don't trees get Christmas presents from Santa?
what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?
Why can you never find a hippo hiding in a tree?
Because they are so good at it.
Why were there no fighting games under the Christmas tree?
Do trees poop?
Of course, that’s how we get number 2 pencils....
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
A lumberjack once told me he’s cut down 27,562 trees
“How do ya know exactly how many?” I inquired
Lumberjack: “Easy. I keep a log.”
What did the fog say to his long lost friend the tree?
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees
A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen
You can call it a chemis-tree
How can you tell a dogwood tree from an elm tree?
What did Jack yell when he angrily chopped down his favorite tree in The Nightmare Before Christmas?
Tiiimmmmmmbbeeerrrrrrr-ton
True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
You know what they say about picking the right species of Christmas Tree?
It's a huge Pine in the Ash
What did the tree do when the bank was closed?
Why is the tree in the water?
Which conifer do all other trees call "The Boss"?
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're that good
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