I happily hummed as I attached the final arm to my dead girlfriends torso...

I made Mary!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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I was going to sculpt a human out of clay. I got the lower body and torso but ran out at the shoulders.

I didn't plan ahead

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coluber_kid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.

To be honest, I just winged it.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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What did the dorsal torso say to the ventral torso?

I’ll be back!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomrhetoric
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Hair on my torso makes me uncomfortable. My wife says I’m overreacting, but...

I just want to get it off my chest

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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A woman gave birth to a head: no arms, no legs, no torso. They named it "Rary" as this was so rare. Rary was not happy and constantly swore. Having enough, the family goes to the Grand Canyon and toss Rary in. As they look over the edge, the mother comments:

It's a Long, Long Way to Tipperary

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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BREAKING NEWS: Mannequin torso escapes from North Dakota mall.

Authorities warn that it may be armed and dangerous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghosttwo
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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Nobody
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DEMSH00T3R
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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So a guy has a head for a son.

The man has a head for a son (Don't ask why) and the father is sad that his son can't do anything with him. He feels down and decides on his 21st birthday to take him to a bar.

He gets his son a drink and his son grow a torso, "Holy shit!" the father couldn't believe it.

He gives him more and more shots until he has a full body, The father than makes a toast for the occasion and they both take another drink, but the son disappears after drinking it.

The father looks to the bartender and asks "What happened to my son!"

The Bartender says "I don't know, but you should have stopped when he was a head."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GunnerLP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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Golfing

Dad: you should bring two pairs of pants with you when you golfing tomorrow

Me: why?

Dad: in case you get a hole in one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Xenon_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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If I could be half the man my father is...

I would be a pair of legs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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Got a chuckle out of my exhausted girlfriend.

So our new born had us up all night. While he was sleeping we laid him on the bed between us, while we were talking I put my hand over his entire torso and said. "Boy is he a handful" she's laughed and told me to shut up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StinkiyPetey5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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One of my dad's favorites...

Well, I'm so glad it turns out there is a subreddit to put all of my dad's corny jokes... I have one of my pop's favorites for ya today, anyway here it goes:

A man is waiting for his wife to have a baby (you can tell this is an old joke) and since this is his first child he is extremely nervous. After some time a doctor comes out of this wife's room and says "Mr. So and So, there's been a complication... your baby boy has no arms." The man is shocked, and after a bit of a fit says "It's okay, it's okay I'll still love him like a normal boy."

After another hours wait the doctor comes back to the man saying "Mr. So and so... there's been another complication... your baby has no legs." Again, the man is shocked, but he says "It's okay, it's okay I'll still love him like any other normal boy!"

After a two hours wait the doctor again comes to the man and says "Sir, another complication... your child has no torso..." The man throws another fit, but eventually says "It's okay, I'll still love him no matter what!"

Finally, at the end of the day the doctor comes back to the man and says "Mr. So and So, your child has no body at all... in fact your child is just a giant eyeball..." The man flips out and screams "Could it get any worse!?"

"He's blind."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChexWarrior
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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