I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus
but graphing is where I draw the line
Another reddit pun thread
I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a “b” comes after it!
From r/askreddit's thread "If your sex life was a country, what country would it be and why?"
I got fired today because a customer wanted to buy a bagel with cream cheese....
I told them we only accept cash.
I think joule really likes this joke
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
/r/puns best of 2020 nomination thread!
Edit: Winner:- https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/knrrk1/rpuns_best_of_2020_nomination_thread/ghx6xyy
Welcome to /r/puns bestof 2020 nomination thread! A chance to win reddit premium.
Comment below the links of posts/comments that were exceptional.
Prizes:
1 month reddit premium (no ads on your feed) and access to the reddit lounge to the exceptional post/comment.
Note: The person who nominates will also get award if the post they nominate is good. (Very likely you will get it :)
All the best!!
Office-ally the best pun thread
Does anyone still use this thread?
I haven't seen anyone since last year
My wallet has been hanging by a thread for over a year
just came across this pun thread from an eternity ago, seriously,, it was worth Peru-sing
Burnt my hawaiian pizza today...
Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y'all!
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
Embroidery / Needlework Puns
Does anyone know any Embroidery puns or puns relating to stitching, needle, thread, hoops.?
couldn't pass on such a pun thread
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my girlfriend some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.
I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder
My left knee has never committed a crime.
I can’t say the same for his felony.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...
You need to let that mango.
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
This thread is a goldmine
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...
"Honey, it’s the little things that count!"
What do you call strict quality control of threads?
According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worst student she's ever had.
Oops... sorry, wrong thread !
People who run behind cars get exhausted.
But people who run in front of cars get tired.
This entire thread of car puns
What is a highlighter's favorite Twister position?
My 3 year old's first joke
What's wobbly in the sky
A jellycopter
Not the best execution, but I'm happy he's joining the tradition of bad jokes
A simple pun sparked a beautiful thread
"No Time To Die" movie is delayed. Thread goes full-pun mode
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
found this in a comment thread lmao
Training for dad level jokes.
My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.
Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.
At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!
The Great Insect Pun Thread
Start praying man, ‘tis the season.
Just came across a pun thread on r/dadjokes....thought it belonged here.Enjoy :)
My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him..
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
Landed this in a text message thread to my SO
SO (at the market) : What kind of coffee beans do you want?
Me: Anything that doesn't say dark roast
SO: OMG! Hold the phone, I may have found something amazing!
Me: Fun fact, I am already holding the phone.
Snores loudly and car careens off road
I found this on my girl's dress, and she told me to post a thread on Reddit. She's so punny.
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
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