I got a third degree burn the other day

Needless to say it was getting on my nerves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourOverLordisME
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2022
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Many years after completing my Bachelor and Masters programs, I finally got my Doctorate.

Those professors really gave me the third-degree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masselein
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2022
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We make fun of my grandfather for getting a PhD in Geography

Giving a world-class doctor a third degree burn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnomalousAlex
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2022
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PhD in Scottish Poetry

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just completed my PhD in Scottish poetry," he tells the bartender. "Now I've got third degree Burns."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2022
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My friend said, β€œYou have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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4 prisoners are telling each other what they were convicted for

The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder

The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault

The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs

The Fourth man simply says: Arson

The Second man asks him: What degree was it?

The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InsectNation1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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I took a Pyrotechnics course in University.

I got a third degree. It was a real blast too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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11 years ago my mother decided to go back and finish school. She earned her bachelors, masters, and just got her PhD. She asked if I was proud of her

"What's with the third degree?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pzl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
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A group of crows were receiving their PhDs at their college's commencement ceremony when the police showed up.

They were all arrested for third-degree murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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There once was a man.....

There once was a man who had a job driving a passenger train between two large towns. It could be a very dull job to some, but as the old saying goes, one man's trash is another's gold; he wanted to be a railroad man since he was a boy.

He was a wiz behind the controls of the train, and commanded the 15 car vehicle effortlessly as if he had been born to do the job. He prided himself on the fact that he could bend the rules and speed through curves and grades that made other motormen shiver and back off.

One day however, he wasn't so lucky and came round a bend too fast and derailed his train. He backed off the throttle and braked as much as he could, managing to only have one fatality out of 500 passengers on his train.

Months later there was a trial and he was found guilty of manslaughter in the highest degree, a capital offence in that land, and sentenced to die by electric chair. Punishment came swift, unlike most places, and 3 days after sentencing the former railroader was asked for his last meal.

"I'll have a banana," "Just a single banana?" said the perplexed guard. "The warden will grant you a feast and all you want is that?"

"Just a single banana." he said.

After he downed the fruit, he was strapped into the electric chair an hour later.... The warden hit the switch, lights flickered, and the crackle of electricity could be heard for over a minute...

...but our train jockey instead rose from the chair looking more like he got a stiff massage, rather than be put to death! Well in that nation, the law of the land states that if a man somehow survives being put to death, they must be set free...

...And so it came to pass that our engineer was let go...

And for whatever reason, he got his job back!

So he was back railroading again doing the job that he loved. You'd think he'd have been more cautious with this second chance he'd been given, but you'd also be wrong. Speedy Gonzales with a train license decided to gun his locomotive to hard and send it off the tracks again!

Of course, this time he was tried for the same crime, but at a different time (his was a fair commonwealth and double indemnity was simply unheard of!) So fair was their nation, that the jury came up with the same judgement and punishment. So three days later, when asked for his last meal, the engineer simply said "I'll have 2 bananas..."

Not less than 60 minutes after consuming the last morsel was he strapped into the chair and the switch thrown... And....

NOTHING.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onmugen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Did you hear about the college president who awarded a PhD to her own husband?

She really gave him the third degree.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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My friend told me, β€œYou have a B.A., Master’s, and a Ph.D., but you still act like a moron.”

It was a third degree burn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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My friend said, β€œYou have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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My friend said, β€œYou have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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