The Victims Puns

A list of puns related to "The Victims"

Whats the last thing a serial killer hears before he kills his next victim

Snap crackle pop

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👤︎ u/DaClassyPancake
📅︎ Dec 02 2020
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Officer: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar of antlers

Detective: Dear god

Officer: Yes most likely

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👤︎ u/Connor0388
📅︎ Sep 09 2020
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Where do you take someone who has been the victim of a Peek-a-boo accident?

The I C U

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👤︎ u/kildar13x
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
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The victim of accident hasn't got good...

comaback.

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👤︎ u/Majxar
📅︎ Aug 01 2020
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"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.

"This concludes my probaballistic report."

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👤︎ u/earthlybird
📅︎ May 01 2020
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[NSFWish] Did you hear about the new eyelid replacement surgery for burn victims?

They use foreskin to replace them. Only side-effect is coming out a little cockeyed.

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👤︎ u/noapostrophe555
📅︎ May 17 2020
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Did you hear about the psychopath who put cyanide in his victim's cornflakes?

They said he was a cereal killer

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👤︎ u/Vegetable-Pea
📅︎ May 09 2020
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Why did the cannibalistic Roman slave warrior show no remorse over his recent female victim?

Because he was gladiator.

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👤︎ u/assafstone
📅︎ Apr 19 2020
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What did the chicken nugget thief say to his victim?

Nothing, he just took the nugget and dipped.

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👤︎ u/toxic_turtle2
📅︎ Jan 28 2020
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Heard about the Librarian who fell victim to falling bookshelves?

He literally died

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👤︎ u/PlankenSonja
📅︎ Mar 09 2020
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"We don't need a fishy super hero!" The land locked victims exclaimed.

"I sea," said Aquaman

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Dec 19 2019
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The cops are warning us about a serial killer who strangles his victims using smaller and smaller T-shirts.

The police are saying that he’s still at large.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 21 2019
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Why did the burglar shower at his victim’s home

He wanted a clean getaway

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👤︎ u/jusrile
📅︎ May 04 2019
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How did the ant serial killer cleanly dispose of his victim’s bodies?

He dissolved them in antacid.

Ba-dum… tsss!

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👤︎ u/rekabis
📅︎ May 11 2019
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What did the vampire say to the victim?

Don't be O-, B+

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👤︎ u/A_Delt
📅︎ Mar 23 2019
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?

His Shoe

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👤︎ u/Pratik007789
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.

They are looking for a cereal killer.

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👤︎ u/norrisrw
📅︎ Feb 12 2019
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What did the polite cannibal say to his victim?

It’s nice to meat you!

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👤︎ u/simm4582
📅︎ Jan 28 2019
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Why does the Grim Reaper ignore the screaming of his victims?

He's Death

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👤︎ u/faetterjens
📅︎ Oct 22 2018
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What did the murderer with an axe for their hand say to their victim?

Don’t worry I won’t lay a finger on you but my axe on the other hand will!

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👤︎ u/panzerjess
📅︎ Oct 11 2018
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Cop 1: You really think the murderer will come back to visit the body of his victim?

Dad Cop: Remains to be seen.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 22 2018
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I'm the latest victim.

I was trying on some really old pants, and this particular pair of pants were fucking tight. Like, squeeze my soul out tight.

I remarked- " Good god, when did we buy these? 1947? (I usually say this when I'm talking about something old. Independence and whatnot)

And my dad goes " Yeah. Your gramps passed it on to me, and now its yours. That's why they're called Jeans."

My mom got annoyed.

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👤︎ u/maheshkumar94
📅︎ Feb 21 2015
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A really bad cold has been making its way around my office. The latest victim just started coughing today.

Him: "Nah, I'm not getting sick. It's all in the head. Like allergies. I used to be allergic to pistachios, but now I'm not!" starts eating some pistachios

Me: "Did you really used to be allergic to them?"

Him: "No, of course not. That would be nuts!"

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👤︎ u/01hair
📅︎ Apr 25 2017
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