It's alway 90 degrees
One is bad at telling dick jokes, the other is dad at telling Bic jokes.
He was afraid he would butcher all the jokes.
The private said, "That's a tall order, sir."
They were attached to the same woman.
Thots and prayers
He nuts and bolts.
Dad: I’m checking my balance.
'Cause the corner is 90 degrees.
He nuts and bolts!
Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.
He got home he reached up for the door knob and opened the door, crawled upstairs and into his bed with his wife. His wife in the morning said “Why were you out all night?” He said “How did you find out?”
She said “The bar called. They said you left your wheelchair again”.
But I’m a big fan.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
"It was two tired."
He built another one.
It was two-tired
"Put the horses in the back." I hate the song but it made me laugh
They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was
the chip monk!
Hands up! This is a rob-berry!
...he really gets my goat.
Our spirits were lifted.
... for putting her hair in a bun.
The punchline
The irony is that I’m a Gemini.
Because it's two tired
I guess they must have realized I'm not a fungi.
Its a sitcom now
Curly fries.
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
Now I'm a sit down comedian.
“Make me one with everything.”
It’s 90 degrees there
It's always about 90 degrees
It was two tired.
It was two tired!
Because it was two tired.
It was two tired..
It was two tired
It was two tired.
It was two tired
Because it was two tired!
It’s annoying, but I’m a big fan.
